Lai Jokes

Dharmaraj, the divine record keeper summoned Yamdoot, the messenger of death and ordered:' Go down and get the atma of Ram Lal. His time is up.'

Yamdoot went down and found Ram Lal. But however much he looked in Ram Lai's body, he could not find his atma. He reported back to Dharmaraj.

' How can that be?, demanded the record keeper.' Every person has to have a soul. Go and look more carefully.'

Yamdoot went back and looked more carefully but failed to find Ram Lal's soul.

Dharmaraj consulted his records and could find no entry of a human being without an atma.' What does this fellow Ram Lai do for a living?', he asked.

'He is some kind of a minister in the government,' replied Yamdoot.

'No wonder you couldn't find a soul in his body. Go back and look in his chair. That's where Indian politicians and ministers keep their atmas.'

Speaking of travels, I heard that when Marco Polo first opened the trade routes to China, he was quite impressed with their rockets. Now, these weren't quite the fireworks we now know, but they did shoot into the air, explode and make some pretty patterns. Strangely, no matter where he went, there were people who made fireworks, but he had trouble finding someone to demonstrate them for him. "Not here!" they said. It was very confusing. Until ol' Marc came upon an ancient military fortification at the community of Chu'Lai. Here, fireworks were launched every night, and Marc was very impressed! But still he wondered, "Why here?" At the end of every week, people came from great distances, bringing their own fireworks to launch. So Marco Polo asked his guide why everyone came here to launch their fireworks. Marc's guide replied, "Why honored sir, we always set off fireworks on the Forts of Chu'Lai."

Banta and Ram Lal were working on a roof, when Banta slipped and fell to the ground. Ram Lai leaned over and called out:' You dead or alive, Banta?'
'Alive,' moaned Banta.
'You're a liar. I don't know whether to believe you or not,' said Ram Lai.
'Then I must be dead,' said Banta,' because you wouldn't dare call me a liar if I were alive.'

This happened during the Emergency imposed by Mrs. Indira Gandhi in 1975. Bapu Gandhi, up in heaven, was troubled by the thought that after all he had done for his country, no one even remembered his name. He sent for Jawahar Lai Nehru and said "Nehru beta, you ruled the country for many years. What did you do to perpetuate the memory of your Bapu Gandhi?"
"Bapu, I did everything I could. I had a samadhi built on the spot where we cremated your body. On your birthdays and death anniversaries we gathered at the samadhi, sang Ram Dhun and Vaishnav Jan. What more could I do?"
"Who came after you?" asked Bapu.
"I am told Lai Bahadur became Prime Minister after me," replied Nehru.
So Bapu Gandhi sent for Lai Bahadur and put him the same question. Shastri replied: "Bapu, I had a very short time as Prime Minister - only one and a half year, but I had your statues put up in every town and village. I had all your speeches more...

Banta went to a cheap restaurant to have dinner. He ran into his friend Ram Lal who was working there as a waiter.
'Ram Lai, aren't you ashamed of working in this third-class restaurant?' he asked.
'I may work in a third-class restaurant,' replied Ram Lai,' but I don't eat in one like you.'