Fireworks Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Marco Polo

    Hot 8 months ago

    Speaking of travels, I heard that when Marco Polo first opened the trade routes to China, he was quite impressed with their rockets. Now, these weren't quite the fireworks we now know, but they did shoot into the air, explode and make some pretty patterns. Strangely, no matter where he went, there were people who made fireworks, but he had trouble finding someone to demonstrate them for him. "Not here!" they said. It was very confusing. Until ol' Marc came upon an ancient military fortification at the community of Chu'Lai. Here, fireworks were launched every night, and Marc was very impressed! But still he wondered, "Why here?" At the end of every week, people came from great distances, bringing their own fireworks to launch. So Marco Polo asked his guide why everyone came here to launch their fireworks. Marc's guide replied, "Why honored sir, we always set off fireworks on the Forts of Chu'Lai."

    Dealing with criminals

    Hot 4 years ago

    A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.
    "You just won't believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."
    "Oh yes dear, what happened ?"
    "I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."
    "Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks! What did you do with them ?"
    "Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."

    A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it." "Oh yes dear, what happened ?" "I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks." "Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks! What did you do with them ?" "Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."

    It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.
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    You may not sing in the bathtub.
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    Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.
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    Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.
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    Motorized vehicles are not to be sold on Sundays.
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    You may not catch a fish with your hands.
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    You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.
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    Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.
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    Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land.
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    All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires.
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    No one is allowed to sleep on a refrigerator.

    You might be a redneck if your lifelong goal is to own a fireworks stand!

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