Illegal Jokes

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    South Dakota Dumb Laws

    Hot 1 year ago

    - It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
    - Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
    - If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.
    - Spearfish: If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.

    Offensive License Plates

    Hot 4 years ago

    Michigan's Secretary of State is under fire for recalling a "vanity" auto license plate that was deemed offensive.
    The plate reads "4 RU486", a reference to the "French" abortion-inducing drug. Critics of the action point out that other vanity plates which could be considered offensive, such as CAL-GIRL, GSPOT, HORNY, HUMP, I124Q, JUGS and NADS, have not been recalled.
    Then there's Theresa Watt; she's had her name on her plate for 20 years: TWATT.
    A state spokeswoman said that 4 RU486 was recalled under the "illegal activity or substance" portion of the license plate law, but the critics retort that neither RU486 nor abortion is illegal. (AP)
    ... Nor is it illegal to be horny, to have a G-spot.

    Official Investigation

    Hot 3 years ago

    Down around the Texas-Louisiana border, there has been a recent rash of illegal cock fighting, with quite a bit of gambling. The director of the Louisiana State Police finally bent to public pressure and sent an investigator to get to the bottom of the problem.
    The crack investigator, Boudreaux, took an unmarked cruiser and headed for Mamou. He was gone for two days and arrived back in Baton Rouge to report to the director.
    He reported that there were three major groups involved in the illegal cock fighting - Texas Aggies, Cajuns and the Mafia.
    Of course, the boss wanted to know how he surmised this, and he replied that he knew there were Texas Aggies involved when he saw someone enter a duck into the fight.
    He knew that there were Cajuns involved when someone bet on the duck.
    He then stated that he was absolutely positive that the Mafia was involved when the duck won!

    Critics say that Presidential candidate Barack Obama tries to "be all things to all people" and that he makes too many "pie-in-the-sky" promises. At a recent political rally, Obama tried to overcome these criticisms by emphasizing his commitment to principles. Afterwards, audience members lined up at a microphone to ask Obama questions. The first person at the microphone said, "I oppose the war in Iraq. If you are elected, what will you do about that?" "I will end the war in Iraq within two weeks of taking office," answered Obama. "All our troops will come home, and I will simultaneously make sure the Iraqi government is functioning and secure." The second person in line said, "I'm an illegal alien. What will you do for people like me?" "If I am elected," answered Obama, "every illegal alien will receive U.S. citizenship, free health coverage, and a scholarship to the university of your choice." The third more...

    BETHLEHEM -- It was rumored today that an unmarried couple from
    Nazareth stopped in a manger owned by Alfredo Pinchi, a notorious
    local slumlord, and a baby was born.

    "There was no running water, and the place was filled with straw,"
    commented local public health authorities. "We even found a
    donkey inside!"

    "The mother gave birth under extremely questionable circumstances,"
    offered Pontius Pilate, Judean candidate for District Attorney.
    "She claims to have been a virgin."

    Unconfirmed reports indicate that Roman authorities are
    investigating the baby on charges of sedition and treason. "There
    are a bunch of people running around alleging that the baby is the
    son of God," explained Pilate, "and that he will have some radical
    ideas about religion in the future."

    Three Kings from the Orient were caught on the outskirts of
    Bethlehem more...

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