Public Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This is an extract of an National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Army Lieutenant General Reinwald about sponsoring a Boy Scout Troop on his military installation.
    Interviewer: "So, LTG Reinwald, what are you going to do with these young boys on their adventure holiday?"
    LTG Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
    Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
    LTG Reinwald: "I don't see why; they'll be properly supervised on the range."
    Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
    LTG Reinwald: "I don't see how; we will be teaching them proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm."
    Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
    LTG Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're more...

    Defendant: "Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer."
    Judge: "And why is that?"
    Defendant: "Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case."
    Judge (to Public Defender): "Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion?"
    Public Defender: "I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening."

    Boarding from what gate?

    Hot 5 years ago

    At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."
    So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.
    So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program.

    In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
    It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.
    Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.
    In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.
    In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts.
    In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours.
    In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset.
    In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday.
    In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed.
    In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman.
    French Lick Springs, more...

    Public Servant

    Hot 3 years ago

    "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said the Mother helping her son at home. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The mother took her son aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means' carrying a child.'"

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