Pimp Jokes / Recent Jokes
Your mama so ugly the proudcers of pimp my ride wanted to make a show called pimp your face
Guess the following movie quotes. All movies were released between the years 1980 and 1989. Comedies, dramas, action, etc. Some are quite simple, and others are more difficult.
There are 37 items, followed by the answers at the bottom, so you may wish to save reading this for a less hectic portion of your day.
1) Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
2) We're on a mission from God.
3) People on' ludes should not drive.
4) This house is clean.
5) Shall we play a game?
6) Terrific!! I've got a trig mid-term tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.
7) Back off man, I'm a scientist.
8) That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.
9) I know a little German. He's sitting over there.
10) Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo.
11) Excuse me, Dick, I mean Rich, will milk be more...
These two old men are in a nursing home. They're talking and realize that it's been years since they have had sex. So they sneak out and go to the closest whorehouse. Once inside they go to the Pimp and ask for the two best girls. The Pimp thought "I'm not going to waste my two best girls on these guys I'll just give them inflatable women. They are old and they won't know the difference." Once the old men finish they leave. On their way back they start talking. The first guy said, " I think mine was dead she didn't move or anything." The second guy said I think mine was a witch because when I nibbled on her neck she farted and flew out the window."
one hoe came into a bar and the pimp spotted her and said,"hey hoe you owe me 20.00",
the hoe said,"no i only owe you 10.00.
the pimp said," Bitch dont correct me"
The second hoe comes in and the pimp spotted her to so he went up to her and said,"Hey hoe you owe me 20.00" and the hoe said,"No i only woe you 15.00. The pimp then said, "Bitch dont correct me"
The third hoe comes in and the pimp also spots her and says,"Hey hoe you owe me 30.00" and the hoe says,"No i only owe you 20.00". Then the pimp said to her,"Bitch dont correct me"
Then the fourth hoe comes in....
(the person who your talking to)says:theres only three hoes
(the one telling the joke)says,"I told you Bitch, dont correct me!(he then chases you)
One day a man walks into a whore house. He goes to the pimp and says, "I want something different."
The pimp says "Well, we have one girl that loves to take it up the ass."
"No, that's too common. I want something different."
"Well, have you ever tried a Hurricane Gussy?"
"I'll be damned, that is different. I'll try that."
The man goes up to the room and takes off his clothes. A minute later a huge Amazon type women comes in. She starts jumping up and down, blowing as hard as she can. The man says, "What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm Hurricane Gussy and that is the wind coming from the Hurricane."
"OK, I'll buy that."
Then she starts beating him over the head with her breasts.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Those are the coconuts falling off the tree hittin' you on the head."
The man says alright. Then she stands over top of him and starts more...
This pimp needed the best slut he could find for a special, perverse client, So he went to each of his whores, trying to find out who had the most talent.
He went up to this one slut and asked, "What can you do that is special?" She replied, "I can give you head for 3 hours straight!" Well, the pimp didn't want his client dick to get sore, so he went to another girl. He asked the same question. She replied "I can get 2 fingers and 3 dicks in my cunt all at once!" That still wasn't good enough for the pimp. He went to a third slut and asked the same question. She replied, "I can give head while singing the national anthem all at the same time!" The pimp was impressed by this so they went back to his house. The girl ripped off both of their clothes and turned off the light. She started giving him head and singing at the same time. The pimp was amazed, "Wow you have some real talent", he said. She said, "Thanks but don't turn on more...