Girls Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Lipstick at School

    Hot 3 weeks ago

    According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
    That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
    Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
    To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip more...

    Fat girl...

    Hot 2 weeks agoby Bumblesquash

    I was ice-skating today just minding my own business when I noticed some big fat bird kept giving me the eye.
    Eventually she came over. "Hi there, I'm a bit shy I'm not very good at breaking the ice," she laughed.
    "Have you tried jumping?" I asked.

    City of New York, Borough of Bronx
    High School Math Proficiency Exam
    Name:____________________ Gang:_________________
    1. Darnel has an AK-47 with a 40-round clip. If he shoots 13 times during each drive-by shooting and misses 6 out of 10 shots, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?
    2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine, and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Little Mikey for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of cocaine if he does not cut it?
    3. Rufus is pimping 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?
    4. Dino wants to cut his half-pound of heroin to make a 20% profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?
    5. Willis gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4x4. If he has stolen 2 BMWs and 3 4x4s, how many Chevys will he have to steal to make $800?
    6. Raoul is in prison for 6 more...

    3 girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel.
    St. Peter asked the girls, "Before entering you must answer this simple question."
    "Which is...?", they replied in unison. "Have you been a good girl ?", he asked the first girl. "Oh yes", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married and was still virgin even after I got married."
    "Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the golden key."
    "Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl. "Oh, quite good", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married but was not after I got married." "Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the silver key."
    "Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl. "Oh no, not at all", she said. "I practically have sex with more...

    Good girls and bad

    Hot 6 months ago

    Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot
    Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

    Good girls wax their floors
    Bad girls wax their bikini line

    Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies
    Bad girls know they could do it better

    Good girls wear white cotton panties
    Bad girls don't wear any

    Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls
    Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls

    Good girls pack their toothbrush
    Bad girls pack their diaphragms

    Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it
    Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it

    Good girls wear high heels to work
    Bad girls wear high heels to bed

    Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance
    Bad girls think no place is the wrong place

    Good girls prefer the missionary position
    Bad girls do too, but only for more...

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