New York City Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mayor Bloomberg is scheduled to take the wraps off the city's own "NYC" brand of free condoms.
The only catch is users will have to go outside to smoke afterwards.
The city-branded condoms will come in packets with a variety of colors representing the different subway lines. Because nothing says sexy like the New York City subway system.
New euphemism for sex: Taking the F-train to Brooklyn.
Women in all five boroughs are already bracing themselves for the latest line from their partners: "Hey, baby, there's another train coming right behind this one."
In New York City, approximately 1,600 people are bitten by other humans every year.
I know this city is called the big apple but seriously. Taking bites out of each other, inviting friends for dinner, thats not on! I invited a friend for dinner, she was late so I gave her the cold shoulder.
A teenagegirl suffering from amnesia and found in New York City has beenidentified by relatives. "I won't be relieved until they get here and tellme who I am, what happened to me, and absolutely confirm that I'm not LindsayLohan."
NYC transit agency is investigating a video posted online that shows a man kissing and snuggling a live chicken aboard a subway. Coincidentally, last week the same video camera caught a man choking his chicken.
Dear guy playing electric violin in the Union Square subway station in NYC,
I hate you.
I hate you because the "music" you're playing feels like crossbow bolts being shot into my head at close range.
I hate you because you have a long, frizzy ponytail and black jeans.
I hate you because your sonic assault is bouncing off the tiled walls and low ceiling of the subway station and is making me feel like I'm having a stroke.
I hate you because of that cheesy, "sexy illusionist" face you're making. Seriously, stop arching that eyebrow.
I hate you because "Rock Violin" is not a thing. Plugging it in does not change that.
I hate you because you've managed to gather a small crowd of overweight tourists that I'm forced to walk around.
I hate you because you have a CD of your work for sale in your open electric violin case.
I hate you because it sounds like you're killing a creature that is half cat, half baby.
But most of more...
A male nanny in New York City was charged with Pedophilia. Police became suspicious when they found out the man worked as a nanny.
4 New York City firefighters were forced by the city to close their firehouse and bathe a dirty Ringling Brothers circus elephant yesterday. (Insert "Kirstie Alley personal assistant joke" here.)