New York City Jokes / Recent Jokes
Director John Hughes, responsible for such memorable 80's films as Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and The Breakfast Club recently died of a heart attack in Manhattan.... Per his families' wishes, he will be buried in a plot alongside Molly Ringwald's panties..
According to Page Six in the NY Post, actor Ralph "Schindlers List" Fiennes has started up a steamy romance with actress Ellen Barkin. They were spotted at a hotel cuddling before heading up to his room. However she should watch out due to the fact that Fiennes recently was urged to take an HIV test after having unprotected sex with a flight attendant on a Quantas flight.
I just hope he doesn't pass along any diseases that may rival what was passed along when Maid In Manhattan was released.
A New York City man attempted to commit suicide yesterday by blowing up his townhouse, sending debris everywhere.
How selfish do you have to be to try and kill yourself and take the whole block with you? What a bad neighbor. You couldn't just jump off the building? Or better yet, stay inside and pop a few pills?
"Nah. If I go, I'm taking Starbucks, Taco Bell and the Gormans from next door with me."
To make it worse, the guy LIVED.
So, he's inconsiderate AND a failure. Oh, will there be dirty looks at the next block party.
A new school has opened in New York City. The first Gotham chapter of the Michigan based Charisma Arts will begin holding classes in August. The school is geared towards helping meet meet and connect with women without the prerequisite Jagermeister shots.
Courses range from the beginner course, "Women, Drop the 12-Sided Dice and Talk to Them" to the more advanced studies, "When to Use a Roofie" and "How to Act Like a Navy Seal."
Special Guest Lecturer and Professor Emeritus: Archbishop Don "Magic" Juan (Pictured Above)
Compellis Pharmaceuticals said it will begin human trials next year of a nasal spray designed to fight obesity by blocking the senses of smell and taste.
Wall Street rallied on the news as traders expressed excitement about the possibility of being able to get their cocaine in a handy spray form.
....the financial crisis has reached nearly every part of society....i was at a strip club and i saw a guy tucking food stamps into a dancer's G-string.....
As part of President Obama's new banking regulation changes, what was once referred to as the bonus season will now be changed to the "Bone-us" season.