Mobile Jokes

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    Nun in a Wheelchair

    Hot 1 year agoby Matty

    What Do You Call a Nun in a Wheelchair?
    Virgin Mobile

    LONDON - A baffled British woman who lost a mobile phone dialed
    the number and heard it ringing inside her friend's dog.
    Rachel Murray, 27, had left the cellphone under her Christmas tree as a
    surprise gift for her flatmate, The Sun newspaper reported on Friday.
    But chum Tony Dangerfield's bloodhound Charlie crept into the room and
    greedily wolfed down the mobile phone, leaving only a pile of torn paper.
    After a frantic search for the phone, Murray obtained the number from the
    telephone company, dialed and heard muffled ringing from sleeping Charlie's
    "At first I thought Charlie was lying on the phone - then I realized where
    it was," she said. "I couldn't believe he'd swallowed it."
    The dog was rushed to a vet, who advised Murray and Dangerfield to let
    nature take its course.
    Twenty four hours later the phone duly emerged - in perfect working order.

    Once again Leroy was asked to do a simple homework assignment.
    Still befuddled by the whole school thing, Leroy is a trooper. He was given another set of vocabulary words to use in sentences. Here's what he handed in:
    We was playin poker on the stoop the other day, man I was HONOROLL.
    I got me some seed to grow weed, so I PLANET in the backyard.
    I went for a blood test, the doctor pulled out a big needle. He said, "DISMAY hurt a little."
    Every time I start a new job, OMELETTE go after a week.
    When me and my homies get high, we STAIRWAY into space.
    I went to buy crack, I was short on cash, my man said, "Gimme one MOBILE."
    I ran from the cops, and hopped DEFENSE and got away.
    I got so mad at my bitch, AFRO a lamp at her.
    I like to be high in school, so AFTERMATH I go to the field and smoke weed.
    I slam the more...

    The May Day parade in Moscow is the largest, most important military parade of the year. For 1992's parade, Yeltsin and Gorbachev invited Bill Clinton to come watch it with them. The parade commenced with a battalion of tanks, followed by a division of infantry, followed by armored personnel carriers and mobile artillery. They had mobile ballistic missile launchers, electronic jamming vehicles, and throughout the entire time the formations were overflown by squadrons of the most advanced interceptors, fighters, and long-range tactical and strategic bombers.
    Clinton, who had never been this close to war in his life, was suitably impressed. Then he noticed that, way back at the end of the parade, there was a disorganized, messy bunch of men in rumpled suits tagging along behind the last artillery pieces. "Who are they?" he asked.
    "Ah," said Yeltsin, "those are our economists!"
    "But I thought this parade was military..." said Clinton, more...

    What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits? Wheelburrows!

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