In English class, the teacher gave the class homework, using the words Chicken, Nut and Bread in a sentence. The next day, the teacher ask if anyone would like to read aloud their sentence. Pablo raised his hand and said "I will". He stood up proudly and read out loud his sentence. "My fader told me, not to put the plastic bag ober your sisters head, because Chicken canNut Bread". Another variation:
(Submitted via email by Roxychikxx) There were three students: one Japanese, Haole, and Filipino. The teacher asked the students to use the words, "chicken, nut, and bread" in a sentence. The Japanese girl went first. "Last night for dinner my mother cooked us chicken and yummy banana nut bread". "That's good", the teacher replied. Next went the haole boy, "I live on a farm and we raise chickens, and grow nuts to put them into our bread". After that, the teacher asked the Filipino boy to use the words in a sentence. The more...
1. If you have no life - and you can prove it mathematically.2. If you enjoy pain.3. If you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.4. If you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."5. If you've actually used every single function on your graphing
calculator.6. If it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.7. If you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."8. If you always do homework on Friday nights.9. If you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.10. If you think in "math."11. If you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.12. If you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.13. If you have a pet named after a scientist.14. If you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.15. If the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.16. If you can more...
20 Signs You've Been on Campus too Long
Think that McDonald's/Burger King is "real food."
Know more than 5 uses for milk crates.
Can give a guided tour to anyone after 2 weeks.
Call home and think it's a wrong number.
Call your best friend's house and think it's the right number to your house.
Can sing your school's fight song after only one weekend.
Think that going to the mall is a special trip.
Start doing homework.
Have conversations about homework.
Know your roomie's life like it was your own.
Ask your girlfriend "out" to the campus restaurant.
Stay in the dorm for weekends.
Call your dorm room "home."
Have a list of carbon copies as long as I do for one piece of E-Mail.
Start thinking that the only people left on earth are the people who go to your college/university.
Can recommend web sites to your friends.
Know about more web sites than Yahoo!
Want to be Greek, even more...
A boy walks up to his teacher and says "Teacher would you tell me off for something i have not done?"
"No of course not"the teacher replies.
"Good, because I have not done my homework!"
A kindergarten teacher was giving her students a homework assignment. She said, "Students, I know you can do this. If you are going anywhere tonight, then watch how your parents drive in relation to the stoplight. This means, watch how they drive and what they say when the stoplight turns green, when it turns red, and when it turns yellow."
So the following day, all the little kids came back with smiles on their faces because they knew that they had done their homework.
The teacher asks, "So did everyone do their homework last night?" Every kid says in unison, "Yes!"
The teacher continues. "So can anyone tell me what you do when the light turns green?" She looks past the outstretched hand of Little Johnny to pick Little Billy. Billy said, "You say, 'yes, this stupid light finally turned green!', and then stay at the same speed."
"Very good, Billy," the teacher said. Little Johnny was mad; he wanted to answer a more...