Leroy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A FRIEND OF MINE HAS AN 18 YEAR OLD SON NAMED LEROY. HE ATTENDS OAKLAND HIGH SCHOOL WHERE THEY TEACH EBONICS AS A SECOND LANGUAGE. LAST WEEK HE WAS GIVEN AN EASY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS PUT EACH OF THE FOLLOWING WORDS IN A SENTENCE. THIS IS WHAT LEROY DID.
    1. RECTUM: I HAD TWO CADILLACS, BUT MY OL'LADY RECTUM BOTH.
    2. HOTEL: I GAVE MY GIRLFRIEND DA CRABS AND THE HOTEL EVERYBODY.
    3. ODYSSEY: I TOLD MY BRO, YOU ODYSSEY THE JUGS ON THIS HOE.
    4. STAIN: MY MOTHER-IN-LAW AXED IF I WAS STAIN FOR DINNER AGAIN.
    5. SELDOM: MY COUSIN GAVE ME TWO TICKETS TO THE KNICKS GAME, SO I SELDOM.
    6. PENIS: I WENT TO DA DOCTOR AND HE HANDED ME A CUP AND SAID PENIS.
    7. CATACOMB: DON KING WAS AT THE FIGHT THE OTHER NIGHT, MAN, SOMEBODY GIVE THAT CATACOMB.
    8. FORCLOSE: IF I PAY ALIMONY THIS MONTH, I'LL HAVE NO MONEY FORCLOSE.
    9. UNDERMINE: THERE IS A FINE LOOKIN' HOE LIVIN' IN THE APARTMENT UNDERMINE.
    10. TRIPOLI: I WAS GONNA BUY MY OLD LADY A BRA BUT I more...

    A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The officeworker asked her, "How many children do you have?""Ten," she replied."What are their names?" he asked."LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered."They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them tocome in from playing outside?""Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they allcome running in.""And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?""I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered."But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked."Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"

    New Sergeants

    Hot 7 years ago

    Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroy says, "Hey, Jasper, there's the Officer's Club. Let's you and me stop in."

    "But we're privates," protests Jasper.

    "We're sergeants now," says Leroy, pulling him inside. "Now, Jasper, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drink."

    "But we're privates," says Jasper.

    "You blind?" asks Leroy, pointing at his stripes. "We're sergeants now."

    So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Leroy. "Your cute," she says, "and I'd like to screw you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."

    Leroy pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Jasper, go look in the dictionary and see what' gonorrhea' means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign." So Jasper goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Leroy the big okay more...

    Little Leroy was always getting into trouble with his mother. One day his mother was in the kitchen doing the dishes and she looks out and sees that little Leroy has tied up the cat. She says to herself "what is that little shit doing to that damn cat this time?"
    Little Leroy leaves the cat lying in the grass next to the driveway and runs into the house and asks his mother for a piece of chalk and some M&M's.
    She thinks for a minute and realizes that not even little Leroy can harm the cat with chalk and M&M's. She gives Leroy the chalk and M&M's and he runs outside.
    He sets the M&M's next to the cat and takes the chalk and draws a line all the way down the drive way. Mom sees this and says to herself what is that damn boy doing? She is very curious so she stands there and watches.
    Little Leroy goes back to where the cat is lying in the grass and picks up the cat and his M&M's.
    He then goes over and sits down on the chalk line. He then proceeds to pop the more...

    Two boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper have been
    promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after,
    they're out for a walk and Leroys says, "Hey, Jasper,
    there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in."
    "But we's privates," protests Jasper. "We's
    sergeants now," says Leroy, pulling him inside.
    "Now, Jasper, I'm a-gonna sit down and have me
    a drink." "But we's privates," says Jasper.
    "You blind, boy?" asks Leroy, pointing at
    his stripes. "We's sergeants now." So they
    have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up
    to Leroy. "You're cute," she says, "and
    I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhoea."
    Leroy pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Jasper,
    go look in the dictionary and see what gonorrhoea means.
    If it's okay, give me the okay sign." So Jasper
    goes to look it up, comes back, and more...

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