A man complaining to a friend "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman... then....POW!!!... it was all gone!"
"What happened?" asked the friend.
"Ahhhhhhh....my wife found out...."
* WIFE AND MISTRESS *
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to have a wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said "I like both."
"Both?" The artist and architect asked.
"Yeah," said the engineer, "If you have a wife AND a mistress, they will both assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go into the lab and get some work done."
"I'll go and ask if we can go through," said Max to Jerry. The two golfers had been concerned for some time at the snail-like progress of two women, originally some holes ahead and now just in front of them on the ninth fairway. Max returned after only a few paces towards the ladies.
"Jerry, this is very embarrassing, but would you mind going? That's my wife up ahead and she's playing with my mistress."
Jerry returned having got no further forward than Max. "I say," he said, "what a coincidence..."
(J. Daniel Smith's East German joke the other day reminded of this one.
Bill Fason told it to me a few years ago. -DG)
One night, Erich Honnecker was in the bedchamber having some pillow talk
with his mistress. He was in a magnanimous mood and offered her a
present of her choice.
She thought about his offer for a moment and then replied, "Oh, Erich,
if there is one thing I would like you to do for me, it is this: open
the borders just for one day."
Honnecker said, "Of course, my dear," but was a bit puzzled by her
request. He asked, "But why would you have me do such a thing?"
The mistress replied, "I want to be alone with you."
A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits of
having a wife or a mistress.
The lawyer says, "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a
divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."
The doctor says, "It is better to have a wife because the sense of security
lowers your stress and is good for your health."
The mathematician says, "You are both wrong. It is best to have both so that
when the wife thinks you are with the mistress and the mistress thinks you are
with your wife - you can do some mathematics."