Mickey Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Goofy Problem

    Hot 4 months ago

    Mickey and Minnie are going to get a divorce and the Judge asks Mickey... So you say shes crazy?
    He replies... NO, I SAID SHE IS FUCKING GOOFY!!

    Mickey's Divorce

    Hot 1 year ago

    As Mickey and Minnie were before the judge in divorce court, the judge looked at Mickey and said, "Listen here, Mr. Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce from Minnie."
    "But why not, Your Honor?" a stunned Mickey asked.
    "I have reviewed all the information you submitted to the court and I can find no evidence to support the allegation that she's crazy," explained the judge.
    "Your Honor," Mickey exclaimed, "I didn't say she was 'crazy', I said she was fucking Goofy."

    A little boy name mickey would look into his parents key hole to there room every night and see his mom jumping up and down on top of his dad. One day johnny asked his mom why she would jump up and down on daddy every night and she replied to make him skinny, then Mickey replied Mommy you are wasting your time because after you leave for work the next morning the lady next door comes over and blows him back up.

    Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman."Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your armsreally *really* hard." So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below.Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and said, "What the hell happened?!?"Charlie said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believeeverything someone tells him."

    From: Mickey Hennigan, Human Resources Director
    To: Everyone
    Date: December 1
    Re: Christmas Party
    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
    From: Mickey Hennigan, Human Resources Director
    To: Everyone
    Date: December 2
    Re: Christmas Party
    In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. Happy now?
    From: Mickey Hennigan, Human Resources Director
    To: more...

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