Cafeteria Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A doctor dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates and checks him in. After he's registered, St. Peter says to him, "Look at the time: you must be hungry! Heaven Cafeteria is serving lunch, why don't you get yourself something to eat?"
    The doctor goes to the cafeteria and notices the long line. He immediately cuts in at the front, only to hear loud protests. "I'm a doctor" he says, "I'm a busy man, I don't have time to wait in line."
    The others say, "You're in heaven now, we're all the same here, get to the back of the line and wait your turn!"
    A few weeks later, waiting patiently on line for lunch, the doctor notices a man come dashing in wearing scrubs and a lab coat, stethoscope around his neck. He butts in at the head of the line and no one utters a peep. "Hey," he says to the guy in front of him, "Who does that guy think he is?"
    "Oh, that's God," says the guy, "He more...

    Absent
    (n) The notation generally following your name in a class record.
    Admissions Office
    (n) Where they take you to get you to admit you've
    mooned the keynote speaker during "new student weekend."
    Anatomy
    (n) One of those classes that sounds vaguely risque until
    you find out what it REALLY involves.
    Biology
    (n) A class located suspiciously near the cafeteria.
    Book
    (n) A depository of knowledge which a student will try to stay
    awake long enough to read the night before finals.
    Bookbag
    (n) A large container in which students store candy bars, gum,
    combs, little slips of paper with phone numbers on them, yo-yos,
    sunglasses, student I.D.s, loose change, magazines, & (occasionally) books.
    Cafeteria
    (n) from Latin "cafe" ("place to eat") and "teria" ("to wretch").
    Caffeine
    (n) One of the four basic food groups.
    Call
    (v) What you can't do because your more...

    In the cafeteria of a Catholic school, the children were lined up for lunch. At the head of the line was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and she had placed it in front of the apples. The note read: "Take only one, God is watching."
    Further down the cafeteria line was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies...
    One of the boys had written a note of his own. The note he placed in front of the cookies read: "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."

    Q: How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I've just cashed up.

    Q: Why did Michael Jackson get kicked out of the school cafeteria?
    A: Because he ate all the kids' wieners.

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