Meet Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Meet the Parents

    Hot 2 years ago

    A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancee to his study for a drink.
    "So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.
    "I am a Torah scholar." he replies.
    "A Torah scholar. Hmmm," the father says. "admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?"
    "I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."
    "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.
    "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us."
    "And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"
    "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiance.
    The conversation proceeds like more...

    Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.
    "Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse".
    "Ssh!" hisses the other, "It's not till next week".

    Lust, Love or Marriage?

    Hot 6 years ago

    For those of you who question whether you are in love, in lust, or really married, the following descriptions may help to clear things up.
    Love - When intercourse is called - making love.
    Lust - When intercourse is called - screwing.
    Marriage - What's intercourse?
    Love - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
    Lust - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
    Marriage - When you lose your child in a crowded room.
    Love - When you share everything you own.
    Lust - When you steal everything they own.
    Marriage - When the bank owns everything.
    Love - When it doesn't matter if you don't reach a climax.
    Lust - When the relationship ends if you don't reach a climax.
    Marriage - What's a climax?
    Love - When you phone each other just to say Hi.
    Lust - When you phone each other to choose a hotel room.
    Marriage - When you phone each other to bitch.
    Love - When you write poems about your partner.
    Lust - When all you write is more...

    More Church Bloopers!

    Hot 5 years ago

    Actual bloopers found on church bulletin boards:
    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
    Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
    Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Taylors. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
    The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
    The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
    The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
    Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
    The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer more...

    Lonely Frog

    Hot 2 years ago

    A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his
    future holds.
    His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a
    beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
    The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
    "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
    "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

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