Deere Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a
    divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said,
    "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's."
    The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmer
    said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, you
    don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I
    don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
    The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have
    a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I
    park my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you
    have a suit?"
    The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear th to church on
    Sundays."
    The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your
    wife beat you up or anything?"
    The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about more...

    In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:
    Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
    Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
    3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
    John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
    Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
    Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
    Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become MineAll Mine.
    Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.
    Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
    Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
    3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney more...

    John Deere

    Hot 11 months ago

    You're probably a redneck if...
    During your wedding, when you kissed the bride, your John Deere hat fell off.

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for adivorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said,"Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's."The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmersaid, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, youdon't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, Idon't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you havea grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where Ipark my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do youhave a suit?"The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it in church onSundays."The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does yourwife beat you up or anything?"The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. more...

    Honeywell & Imasco & Home Oil = Honey, I'm Home.
    Denison Mines & Alliance & Metal Mining = Mine, All Mine.
    3M & JC Penney & Canadian Opera Company = 3 Penney Opera.
    Crabtree & Evelyn and Apple Computer = Crab Apple.
    Swissair & Cheseborough-Ponds = Swisscheese.
    John Deere & Abitibi-Price = Deere Abi.
    And don't forget the failed merger between Yahoo and Netscape: Net'n'Yahoo. It didn't work out because they were afraid they would have to relocate the headquarters to Tel Aviv.

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