Honeywell Jokes

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    In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:
    Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
    Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
    3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
    John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
    Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
    Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
    Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become MineAll Mine.
    Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.
    Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
    Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
    3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney more...

    Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become -Hale Mary Fuller Grace.Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become -Polly-Warner-Cracker.3M and Goodyear merge to become -MMMGood.John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become -Deere Abi.Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become -Zip Audi Do Da.Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become -Honey I'm Home.Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become -Mine All Mine.Federal Express and UPS merge to become -FED UP.Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become - Fairwell Honeychild.3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become-3 Penney Opera.Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become- Knott NOW!

    It has long been rumored that W. R. Grace Co. was considering buying the Fuller Brush Co. along with Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with the Hale Business Systems. This mega-corporate entity could be known as Hale Mary Fuller Grace. Failed merger: Yahooand Netscape. Net 'n Yahoo didn't work out because they would have to relocate theheadquarters located in Tel Aviv. Proposed merger: Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers, to be called Fairwell Honeychild. Rumored merger: Wurlitzer with Xerox. They are going to market reproductive organs. Possible merger: Warner Brothers, Polygraph Records and Keebler - to be called...Poly-Warner-Cracker. 3M and Goodyear merger: mmmGood John Deere andAbitibi-Price: Deere Abi Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco and Dakota Mining: Dip Audi Do Da Swissair andCheseborough-Ponds: Swisschese Honeywell, Imasco and HomeOil: Honey, I'm Home Luvs Diapers and HertzRent-a-Car: Luv Herts Upjohn and Chuckie CheesePizza: UpChuck White Castle Burgers andGlad more...

    There appears to be no end to merger mania - one of the greatest threats to our freedom and democracy - putting more and more control into the hands of fewer and fewer people.
    The following are more Mergers that appear to be on the horizon:
    Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil
    - Honey, I'm Home
    Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining
    - Mine, All Mine
    Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, Dakota Mining
    - Zip Audi Do-Da
    Knott's Berry Farm and National Organization of Women
    - Knott NOW!
    John Deere and Abitibi-Price
    - Deere Abi
    Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers
    - Fairwell Honeychild
    3M and Goodyear
    - mmmGood
    Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants
    - Poupon Pants
    Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush Co., and W.R. Grace Co.
    - Hale Mary Fuller Grace
    Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler
    - Poly-Warner-Cracker

    Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs
    Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild
    Polygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner Cracker
    W.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace
    3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGood
    John Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere Abi
    Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm Home
    Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine
    3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney Opera
    Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon Pants
    Knott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW!
    Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota more...

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