In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become MineAll Mine.
Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney more...
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become -Hale Mary Fuller Grace.Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become -Polly-Warner-Cracker.3M and Goodyear merge to become -MMMGood.John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become -Deere Abi.Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become -Zip Audi Do Da.Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become -Honey I'm Home.Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become -Mine All Mine.Federal Express and UPS merge to become -FED UP.Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become - Fairwell Honeychild.3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become-3 Penney Opera.Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become- Knott NOW!
Melinda Duckett, a 21 year old mother whose son is missing, killed herself shortly after a grueling interview with CNN's Nancy Grace.
Scheduled next to appear on Nancy Grace's show is Nancy Grace, who will be questioned in the death of Melinda Duckett.
(From: Greg Ryding)
Time: Early Sixties. Place: Yourtown, USA
A young unmarried couple decides after a few dates that
they are going to sleep together. So, the guy, Tom, goes to
the local pharmacy to buy some condoms.
Tom goes up to the pharmacy counter and asks the
pharmacist for some Trojans, (just like the kid in Summer of
'42). The pharmacist looks at Tom disgustedly and says,
"What's wrong with you kids today, ya go on two dates and you
wanna go to bed with each other. Why can't ya save sex for
when ya get married. You should wait until you're married!
Sex before marriage is a sin ya know."
Well Tom calmed down the pharmacist and explained that
his generation was a little different. He said that he and
his girlfriend were just trying to act responsibly and take
precautions against pregnancy and disease. The pharmacist
conceded that times were changing and finally sold him more...
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said "Today, church members, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind."
The pastor shouted out, "Cross."
Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "The Old Rugged Cross."
The Pastor hollered out "Grace."
The congregation began to sing, "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound..."
The Pastor said, "Power."
The congregation sang, "There is Power in the Blood."
The Pastor said, "Sex."
The congregation fell in total silence; everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then, way in the back of the church, a little old grandmother stood up and began to sing,
... "Precious Memories".