Mac Jokes / Recent Jokes

* We were test-marketing the new "McTrojan."
* Condom, condiment--what's the damn difference?
* It still tastes better than the "Arch Deluxe."
* It was either there or in the vanilla shake.
* Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese are true.
* We're experimenting with a new, even happier "Happy Meal."
* So what... a regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway.
* Employees too embarrassed to say, "Would you like condoms with that?"
* Drive-thru speaker broken --"Coke with lots of ice" sounded like
"prophylactic device."
* When you're serving billions and billions, you can't be too careful.

Cologne, May 27 dpa - The U. S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many "Big Mac" hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germany's leading institutes.

The Institute of the German Economy (IW) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonald's restaurant chain is increasingly being used by economists around the world as a measure of currencies' relative purchasing power.

The institute said that currency exchange rates are often unreliable as an instrument to measure purchasing power. At the same time, "baskets" of products used to arrive at comparative purchasing power are complicated to compile.

A simple alternative, now that McDonald's has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.

"A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, more...

Mac vs. Etch-a-Sketch: You Decide __________ ______ ________ ______' But that isn't a fair comparison. People ______ ______ like the Etch-A-Sketch.' o o _ _ _ _ _________ (__________ ________)_Roger Earl [^] roger_earl@outbound. wimsey. bc. ca [_] __________After admiring the above signature I thought I'd post a comparison, similar to the other great computer wars. Etch-A-Sketch Mac ClassicNo. of Colours 2 2Resolution ~2000*~2000 512 * 342No. of buttons 2 1Preemptive Multitasking Yes NoHardware line draw Yes NoPrice < $20 ~ $1000Power Consumption No YesLaptop Yes NoSlow Operating System No YesNon Volatile Memory Yes NoChoice of Coloured box Yes NoRobust design (shakeable) Yes NoAfter considering the above options, I decided to buy the Etch-A-Sketch. For all you die-hard Amiga fanatics out there rumour has it that theEtch-A-Sketch-Emulator is coming out for the Amiga, and will in factbe faster than the true E-A-S.

' Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, While visions of Java danced in their dreams. My wife on the sofa and me with a snack, We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac). When out in the Web there arose such a clatter, I jumped to the site to see what was the matter. To a new page my Mac flew like a flash, Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!! I gasped at the thought and started to grouse, Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear. When the image resolved, so bright and so quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick! More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came, Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my Mac called them by name;"Now Compaq! more...

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,
We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac).

When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.

When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than more...

Cologne, May 27 dpa - The U. S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many "Big Mac" hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germany's leading institutes.
The Institute of the German Economy (IW) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonald's restaurant chain is increasingly being used by economists around the world as a measure of currencies' relative purchasing power.
The institute said that currency exchange rates are often unreliable as an instrument to measure purchasing power. At the same time, "baskets" of products used to arrive at comparative purchasing power are complicated to compile.
A simple alternative, now that McDonald's has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.
"A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, his 18 marks in Germany more...

Customer: "My disk is stuck in my disk drive. Clicking eject doesnt work." Tech Support: "Ok, turn the power to your Mac off, hold down the mouse clicker, and power the Mac back up." Customer: "Look, I dont have three hands!"