Dollar Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Military etiquette

    Hot 1 year ago

    Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
    Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
    Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again."
    Soldier: "Do you have change for a dollar?"
    Soldier: "No, SIR!"

    A man walked into an appliance store and asked the price of a 25" remote controlled color television set. "One dollar," the clerk replied. "You've got to be kidding." "Look, Mac," the clerk said, "do you want it or not?" Of course, the customer gave him a dollar. On the way out with his incredible bargain, the suctomer saw a big frost-free refrigerator with automatic ice maker. "How much for that?" he asked the clerk. "Fifty cents," came the reply. The customer forked over the half dollar, saying, "What the heck is going on here?" "Nothing is goining on here," the clerk snapped. "But my boss is at my house with my wife. And what he's doing to her, I'm doing to his business."

    Little Girl

    Hot 1 year ago

    This is truly a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers. This makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race. A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that more...

    Two Men Camping

    Hot 5 years ago

    2 men were out camping. At about 3:00 one man had to go to the bathroom. There were no toilets around and the men had no toilet paper! The man took a crap in the forest, but then had noting to wipe his butt with. He asked his friend what to do, and his friends said to wipe his butt with a 1 dollar bill. 5 minutes later the man came back with crap all over his hands. The friend asked what happened and the man said, "I didn't have a 1 dollar bill, so I used 4 quarters!"

    Yo mamma!!!

    Hot 5 years ago

    YO MAMMA'S SO FAT: -she was mistaken for god's bowling ball. -when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up -she had to go to Sea World to get babtised -she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth -her favorite dress is a tent -she left home with highheels and came back with flip-flops -she has to iron her pants on the driveway -she needs a building permit for her girdle -she needs a hula-hoop for a belly button ear ring -she puts on tampons with a bazooka -she has to put lipstick on with a paint roller -she had to get her ears pierced with a harpoon -she sat on a rainbow and and Skittles came out -she sat on a quarter and got 2 dimes and a nickel -she rolled over 4 quarters and made it a dollar -when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose -the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs

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