Hundred Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Oh my God

    Hot 8 months ago

    an old man went to a beach and say a sexy girl in a bikini. he went up to her and asked her"can i feel your sexy, juicy boobs?"
    The girl said, "no way, get away from me old man."
    the guy said," twenty dollars?"
    "no"
    "one hundred dollars?"
    "no"
    "two hunderd dollars?"
    "no"
    "five hundred dollars?"
    the girl thought, what harm can it do? "sure"
    the girl loosened her bikini and the man slipped his hand in her bikini.
    while feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, the guy said, "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD"
    the girl said,"why do you keep saying OH MY GOD?
    while continuing feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, he said "OH MY GOD, where am i going to get five hundred dollars?"

    Lock, Stock and Barrel

    Hot 8 months ago

    An entrepreneur attended an auction at which he won the bid on an old safe. With dreams of a large fortune inside, he was told that the business from which the safe originated was so long defunct, that no one had the combination. Undaunted, he called a locksmith to try to get the safe open.

    The first locksmith told the entrepreneur that it would cost forty dollars to open the safe intact. However, tried as he might, he couldn't open it, and told the wealthy man that he had lost his money in buying the safe.

    The entrepreneur then contacted another locksmith, a crusty, bent old man with three days' growth of white whiskers, who took a long look at the safe, noted its manufacturer and retired to his truck. Shortly, he returned with a power drill, a ruler, and a small, bent piece of metal.

    The locksmith measured a few inches from the dial and marked an "x" at the "2 o'clock" mark. It took more than half an hour for the old man to drill more...

    A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in Canada - you could get anything there.
    The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the look of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
    The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came.
    The boss duly appeared and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
    "One", said the young salesman. "Only one!" blurted the boss. Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
    "Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty-four dollars" said the young man. The boss was completely surprised. "How did you manage that?" asked the flabber-gasted boss.
    "Well", said the salesman, "this man came more...

    Checks

    Hot 7 months ago

    A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer. "-I know,-" he says, "they say 'you can't take it with you.' But who knows? Suppose they're mistaken. I'd like to have something with me, just in case. So I am giving each of you an envelope containing one hundred thousand dollars and I would be grateful if at my funeral you would put the envelopes in my coffin, so that if it turns out that it's useful, I'll have something." They each agree to carry out his wish.
    Sure enough, after just a few weeks, the old man passes away. At his funeral, each of the three advisors is seen slipping something into the coffin. After the burial, as the three are walking away together, the doctor turns to the other two and says, "-Friends, I have a confession to make. As you know, at the hospital we are desperate because of the cutbacks in funding. Our CAT SCAN machine broke down and we more...

    10 Question Quiz

    Hot 4 months ago

    (Passing requires 4 correct answers...)
    1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
    2) Which country makes Panama hats?
    3) From which animal do we get catgut?
    4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
    5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
    6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?
    7) What was King George VI's first name?
    8) What color is a purple finch?
    9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
    10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
    Quiz Answers:
    1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
    2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
    3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
    4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
    5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
    6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal? Dogs
    7) What was King George VI's more...

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