Happy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Laloo, Jayalalitha, and karunanidhi are on a long flight in an Air Force plane. Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs. 100 note out and make someone down below happy."
    Jayalalitha not wanting to be outdone says,
    "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs. 50 notes throw them down and make two people down below happy."
    Of course karunanidhi doesn't want these two candidates to out do him so he pipes in,
    " I would instead take one hundred Rs. 1 notes and throw them out to
    make 100 people just a little happier."
    At this point the pilot who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore comes out and says,
    "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 100 crore people happy!"

    Holiday Party Memo

    Hot 1 year ago

    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
    TO: All Employees
    DATE: October 1, 2009

    RE: Gala Christmas Party

    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

    Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family,

    Patty



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    make a glow worm happy

    Hot 5 years ago

    How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted!

    Jewish weddings gone bad

    Hot 3 years ago

    A Jewish father, Moisha, was beset by his eldest son Yitzak...
    "Father, I am going to marry!"
    His father begins to dance with joy and sing Hava Nagila... "Tell me, is she a good Jewish girl?" says the father. "What is her name?"
    "O'Brien" replies the son... "She's Catholic..."
    "Oy!" says the father... "But are you happy?"
    "I'm happy," says the son.
    "Ok...as long as you're happy... my blessings to you both," replies Moisha.
    But the father is still counting on his remaining sons, Schlemiel and Chutzpah...
    Schlemiel calls on his father the next evening, "Father... I too will be married soon!"
    Again, Moisha breaks out in a dance and sings God's praises...
    "What is her name," implores the father?
    "Kazalopodopolous," says the son. "She's Greek Orthodox..."
    "Oy," says Moisha... "But are you more...

    How i fired my secretary

    Hot 5 years ago

    HOW I FIRED MY SECRETARY:
    Two weeks ago, I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be pleasant and say Happy Birthday and probably have a present for me...
    She didn't even say Good Morning, let alone any Happy Birthday.
    I said, well, that's wives for you. The children will remember. The children came into breakfast and didn't say a word.
    When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
    As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday."
    And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
    I worked until noon. About noon Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."
    We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis more...

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