Ladder Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which was sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. "Take me now or climb the ladder to success" she said.
No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye. "Take me now or climb the ladder to success" she said. "Well", thought the man, "might as well carry on.
On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was quite attractive. "Take me now or climb the ladder to success" she uttered.
As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went.
On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot. "Take me now or climb the ladder to success" she flirted.
Unable more...

There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him. Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me." So, the man in the boat drove off. The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get in. Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me." The person in the boat then left. The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in. Jim said, "That's okay." The woman said, "Are you sure?" Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me." Finally, the water rose too high and Jim drowned. Jim got to more...

A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said,

"Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."

So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.

The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!"

The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!"

So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets.

So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF."
"It's just a damn dog!" yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW."
"It's just a damn cat," yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, more...

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which was sat a rather plump and homely looking woman. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success" she said. No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye." Screw me or climb the ladder to success" she said. "Well", thought the man, "might as well carry on. On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was really hot." Screw me now or climb the ladder to success" she uttered. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went. On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, everything he could want. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success" she flirted. Unable to imagine what more...

Upon arrival at their hunting, a group of hunters discover that there is an enormous bear sitting on the roof of the cabin. Not wanting to wait to see if the bear will leave on its own, the hunters race into the cabin, phone the game commission, and ask them to send someone out to remove the bear.
A few hours pass before a truck pulls up from the game commission. A man steps from the truck a looks over the situation. He then gets in the back of his truck and returns with his equipment which consists of a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a dog.
The man from the game commission approaches the hunters and hands one man the shotgun, tells the dog to sit next to the cabin and sets the ladder up against the cabin. Couriosity got the best of the hunter holding the shotgun and he asked the man, "How are you going to trap a bear using a ladder, a baseball bat and a dog?"
The man from the GC replied, "I'm using the ladder to climb on the roof. When I get to the more...

Q: How many Union Electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Seventeen - One to give the bulb to the screw-inner. One to screw in the bulb. One to hold him on the step ladder. Four to hold the step ladder steady. One to flick the switch to test the bulb. One to make sure that the other bulbs in the room will need fixing. One to supervise. Two to take a coffee break, one to eat lunch, and one to nap. One to plot the best way of breaking into the apartment at night. One to drink gin n tonics with the yuppies.

There once was a man who died and went to heaven. There he saw a hot babe and a ladder. The babe said "you can have sex with me or climb the ladder to success."
The man climbed the ladder. There he saw an even hotter babe who said the same thing. He climbed the ladder again. He saw yet another ladder and an even hotter babe, hotter than the previous ones. She said the same thing.
So the man climbed the ladder one more time. This time he saw an extremely ugly man. The ugly man said "Hi, I'm Sess, suck me."