Cloud Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Republicans in Hell

    Hot 6 years ago

    While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
    "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
    "No problem, just let me in." says the Republican.
    "Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
    "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the Republican head of state.
    "I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the Republican to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing more...

    No Name toilet Paper

    Hot 2 years ago

    An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud.

    "White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper," says the Indian. "How much is it?"

    "$1.00 a roll," the clerk replies.

    "That seems pretty expensive," responds the Indian. "What about the others?"

    "Charmin is $2.00 a roll, and no name is 50 cents a roll."

    The Indian doesn't have much money, so he opts for the no name. Within a few hours, he is back at the trading post.

    "I have a name for the no name toilet paper," he announces to the clerk. "We shall call it John Wayne."

    "Why?" asks the confused clerk.

    "Cause it's rough and it's tough and it don't take no crap off an Indian."

    One day, two women and a man die. When they go to heaven, St. Peter tells them they could do whatever they want as long as they didn't step on a pink cloud.
    One day, one of the three people were seen walking with two ugly men. "I tripped and fell on a pink cloud," she explained, "then **POOF** here he was."
    The next day, the other woman was seen walking with an even uglier guy! She said, "I was pushed onto a pink cloud. Then **POOF** here was this gross guy."
    A few days later, the two women, and their ugly men, saw the guy that had died walking with a gorgeous woman. They asked him what happened. He said, "Oh, she stepped on a pink cloud."

    So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth.
    One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.
    "Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"
    It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved.
    "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that stormclouds form on hot days.
    So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!"
    This time four stormclouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of more...

    These four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority."Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!" This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby more...

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