Decision Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Mangled Member

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man was involved in a terrible accident which left his member mangled and torn from his body. The doctor assured him that modern medicine did make it possible for his manhood to be rebuilt, but since it was considered cosmetic surgery, his insurance would not cover the surgery.
    On hearing this, the man asked the doctor what the cost would be.
    "You have three choices," replied the doctor. "$4,000 for small, $7,000 for medium, and $15,000 for large."
    The man appeared pleased with this news, but couldn't decide whether he wanted the medium or the large. The doctor suggested that since the decision also affected the man's wife, he talk it over with her privately before making a final decision. The doctor then left the room to give the man some privacy while he phoned his wife to explain the options.
    When the doctor returned to the room, he found the man looking very depressed and staring into space.
    "Have you and your wife reached a more...

    Decision making

    Hot 1 year ago

    A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.

    The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?


    Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make..



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    Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would more...

    Bill Gates In Purgatory

    Hot 3 years ago

    Bill gates has been in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure where to send you. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide whether you want to go to Heaven or Hell."
    Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"
    St. Peter: "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
    Bill: "Fine, but where should I go first?"
    St. Peter: "I'll leave that up to you."
    "Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
    So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing, and more...

    Architect programmer

    Hot 5 years ago

    If architects had to work like programmers...Dear Mr. Architect, Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If more...

    This week's joke, sent by a MegaLaw visitor, seemed appropriate given the feelings vented by so many at either the recent decision of the Florida Supreme Court or the recent decision of the U. S. Supreme Court. It is a classic among disgruntled attorneys...


    What do you call an attorney with an IQ of 47?

    "Your Honor."

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