Confucius Says: It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
It is the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Carrie.
He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, Carries father answers and invites him in.
'Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?' her dad said.
'That's cool', says Bobby.
Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.
Carrie's father responds' why don't you two go somewhere and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.'
Bobby, is not quite sure he heard correctly, so he asks Carries dad to repeat what was just said.
'Yeah', her dad says,' Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!'
Well, this certainly made Bobby's emotions light up. Now he's REALLY looking forward to the evening.
A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces more...
A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.
"Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up."
"Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back."
The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear."
"That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office.
"Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made."
"What's wrong?" asks the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she more...
One evening during the Spring of 1957 Bobby, a hip guy with his own car, goes to pick up his date. He goes to the front door and the girl's father answers, inviting him in.
"Carrie's not quite ready yet. Why don't you have a seat?" he says.
"Cool," Bobby replies.
Carrie's father asks Bobby what their plans are. Bobby politely says that they'll probably go to a movie or the soda shop.
"Why don't the two of you go out and screw?" Carrie's father says. "I hear all the kids are doing it."
Of course, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie's dad to repeat it.
"Oh yeah," says Carrie's dad, "our Carrie really likes to screw. If we'd let her, she'd screw all night long."
Hearing this makes Bobby's eyes light up and his plan for the evening is starting to look pretty good.
A few minutes later, Carrie enters the room in her poodle skirt and tells Bobby that she's ready to go. A little more...
Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the counter with a great big smile on his face.
Dave says "John what are you so happy for?"
"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here!
She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" I said' Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said' Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave, she couldn't swim!!."
The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the counter with a bigger smile on his face.
Dave says "What are you so happy about today John?"
"Well Dave... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She said' Can more...