Kit Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Whats the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? A: Ones a glueless kit and the others a clueless git!

Q: What do you call a cat who’s joined the Red Cross?
A: A first-aid kit!

Recalled Christmas Toys

Broken Bag-O-Glass

Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit

Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake oven and cookbook

Timothy McVays home Chemistry set

Switchblade Barney

Pork-n-Beany Babies

Make your own moonshine kit

Mike Tyson Doll (with ear biting action)

Invitational Challenge, come up with terribly inappropriate
Christmas gift ideas.

Honorable Mentions
Supersoaker 9000
For use on those hard to reach targets; NFL referees, low flying
planes, and many more. At close range it can strip paint clean
rusty grills, and dig utility trenches.
The Laff-O-Minit Jajic Spellin' Tootor Doggie Dentist
Kids learn about dentistry on the family pooch.
Cuisin-Art
Turns mommy's food processor into a spinning paint tool.
Water Retention Wanda
Teaches kids the principles of the calendar.
Advanced Play Medical Kit
Includes colonoscope and speculum.
Chocolate Covered lead soldiers.
Bungeroo
Kid sized bungee kit for second story bedrooms.
Islamic Strip Poker
Lose a hand, lose a hand.

And the winners are
4th Runner Up
Li'l Naturalist Hornet Farm
3rd Runner Up
A Pee Wee Herman pull toy
2nd Runner Up
The Duncan Yo -- Goes more...

Josh was helping Cheryl, the blonde, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit". Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside. Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Cheryl what it was for.
She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit."
Josh said, "I can see that, but why?"
Cheryl replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my tires."

Tired of the overuse of four-letter words? Here's one solution:
Give your friends, family, and fellow students (who are abusers) this
Shakespearean Insult Kit to use as a suitable replacement when the
mood arises.


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THE OFFICIAL SHAKESPEAREAN INSULT KIT
To construct a Shakespearean insult, combine one word from
each of the three columns below, and preface it with' Thou':

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3
artless base-court apple-john
bawdy bat-fowling baggage
beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
bootless beetle-headed bladder
churlish boil-brained boar-pig
cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
craven common-kissing canker-blossom
currish crook-pated clack-dish
dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
droning doghearted codpiece
errant dread-bolted more...

New from MATTEL: Administrative Barbie: Works twelve hour days for little pay (70% of Admin Ken's salary), and is the lowest on the totem pole despite being the one that actually runs the group. Comes with mini laptop and directions for the coffee machine. Pull the string on her back and she'll schedule a meeting with your other dolls, replace the toner cartridge in the laser printer, coordinate a re-org and a move, and order airline tickets for Admin Ken.

Temp Barbie: This smartly dressed, intelligent, hard-working and enthusiastic Barbie is ready to go right out of the box, but usually goes untouched for at least a day while everyone tries to figure out why they bought her. Pull the string on her back and she'll stuff envelopes indefinitely, all the while wondering why she got a liberal arts degree. Comes with mini resume and mini filing cabinet filled with the past five years worth of US Tax Code revisions which need to be collated.

Sister Mary Barbie: This more...