One day a little girl came up to Santa Clause and sat on his lap. He said what do you want for Christmas. She said I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe. He said, I thought Barbie is suppose to come with Ken. She said, Barbie comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245
To: Santa Claus
North Pole, North Pole
Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list!
1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear more...
"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal; but boys and girls are not born the same.
1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your
home to the church, even if you're driving there.
3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they more...
A Ken and Barbie Joke: Why does Barbie never get pregnant? Because Ken always comes in a box!
A little girl is waiting in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up onto Santa's lap and Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"
"I'd like a Barbie and a G.I. Joe," she replies.
Confused, Santa says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."
"Oh, no," she explains. "She comes with G.I. Joe. She just fakes it with Ken!"