A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"
A man was involved in a terrible accident which left his member mangled and torn from his body. The doctor assured him that modern medicine did make it possible for his manhood to be rebuilt, but since it was considered cosmetic surgery, his insurance would not cover the surgery.
On hearing this, the man asked the doctor what the cost would be.
"You have three choices," replied the doctor. "$4,000 for small, $7,000 for medium, and $15,000 for large."
The man appeared pleased with this news, but couldn't decide whether he wanted the medium or the large. The doctor suggested that since the decision also affected the man's wife, he talk it over with her privately before making a final decision. The doctor then left the room to give the man some privacy while he phoned his wife to explain the options.
When the doctor returned to the room, he found the man looking very depressed and staring into space.
"Have you and your wife reached a more...
A stuttering man finally decides to go to the doctor to see if his speech
impediment can be cured. The doctor thoroughly examines the man and finally
asks him to drop his pants.
Out comes this gigantic dick and the doctor pronounces the root of the problem
to be strain on the vocal chords from the effects of gravity being transmitted
up to the neck area.
The patient then asks, "wh-wh-at c-c-ca-an b-b-e d-d-done ab-b-bout- t-t i-i-
t?" to which the doctor replies, "modern surgery can work miracles. We can
replace your dick with one of normal size and the stuttering will disappear
right after the operation."
The patient eagerly agrees to the surgery, and as promised his stuttering
About 3 months later the man returns to the doctor and complains, "doctor, I
am grateful to you for having cured me, but my wife really misses a big dick,
and rather than lose her I've decided to get my old dick back more...
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Senator John Kerry, recovering from prostate surgery, was told it would be six weeks before he could be sexually active.
John Edwards called to wish Kerry well.
Al Sharpton called Kerry to offer prayers.
Howard Dean called with encouragement on recovery.
Bill Clinton called Teresa.