Books Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

A new monk arrived at the monastery. He was assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were copying copies, not the original books. The new monk went to the head monk to ask him about this. He pointed out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
The head monk said, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." The head monk went down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original.
Hours later, nobody had seen him, so one of the monks went downstairs to look for him. He heard a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and found the old monk leaning over one of the original books, crying. He asked what was wrong.
"The word is 'celebrate'," said the head monk.

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books: the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?"
"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

Review: The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss, 61 pages. Beginner Books, $3.95 The Cat in the Hat is a hard-hitting novel of prose and poetryin which the author re-examines the dynamic rhyming schemes andbold imagery of some of his earlier works, most notably GreenEggs and Ham, If I Ran the Zoo, and Why Can't I Shower WithMommy? In this novel, Theodore Geisel, writing under thepseudonym Dr. Seuss, pays homage to the great Dr. Sigmund Freudin a nightmarish fantasy of a renegade feline helping two youngchildren understand their own frustrated sexuality.The story opens with two youngsters, a brother and a sister, abandoned by their mother, staring mournfully through thewindow of their single-family dwelling. In the foreground, alarge tree/phallic symbol dances wildly in the wind, tauntingthe children and encouraging them to succumb to the sexualyearnings they undoubtedly feel for each other. Even to themost unlearned reader, the blatant references to theincestuous relationship the two share more...

The new school librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a 'Contract' for returning the books on time.
Her first customer was a third grader who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought three books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.
Before the librarian could even start her speech, he said scornfully, "The other librarian we had knew how to write."