IN America's dozen Ivy League Universities, on top of the list come Yale and Harvard or perhaps Harvard followed by Yale. By and large America does not have an upper class accent distinct from that of commoners as is heard in England. The only exception is Harvard which has imbibed some of Boston's
Brahmanical air of superiority by its distinct upper class speech.
This one is told of a freshman who asked a senior student: "Can you tell me where the library is at?"
The senior snubbed him, "At Harvard, we never end a sentence with a preposition."
The freshman had a second go: "Can you tell me where the library is at, you asshole?"
A blonde walks into the library and says to the librarian, ''Can I have a burger and fries?'' ''Sorry, this is a library.'' So the blonde whispers, ''Oh, may I have a burger and fries?''
A friend of mine told me this one the other day...
A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has
come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When
the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book,
book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the
chicken. The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.
The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts
the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks, "Book,
book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these
books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken. The chicken
The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who
squawks (in a rather irritated fashion, it seems), "Book, book, book, BOOK!"
A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, "Buk Buk BUK." The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.
Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say, "Buk Buk BuKKOOK!" The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.
The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, "Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!" The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.
She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit more...
You can learn a lot from reading the graffiti in a bathroom, library or other public area...
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
* Women's rest room, Murphy's, Champaign, Ill.
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here -
Your asshole is in Washington!
* Men's rest room, Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Wash.
Beauty is only a light switch away.
* Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, N.C.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
* Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.
Remember, it's not "How high are you?", it's "Hi, how are you?"
* Rest stop off Route 81, W. VA.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
* The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
* The Bayou, Baton Rouge, La.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick more...