Librarian Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    School Library

    Hot 6 days ago

    The new school librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a 'Contract' for returning the books on time.
    Her first customer was a third grader who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought three books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
    The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.
    Before the librarian could even start her speech, he said scornfully, "The other librarian we had knew how to write."

    Blonde in the Library.

    Hot 4 years ago

    A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!"
    The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..."

    A blonde walked in a library and went to the librarian, pulls out a thick book and started screaming at her.
    She yells, "THIS BOOK IS HORRIBLE! THERE ARE TOO MANY CHARACTERS AND NO PLOT WHATSOEVER!"
    The librarian stares at her, then calmly replies, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

    A blonde walked into a library and said to the librarian, "Can I have some fish and chips please?"
    The librarian gave her a funny look and said, " I'm sorry, this is a library."
    So the blonde whispers,"Can I have some fish and chips please?"

    Literary animals

    Hot 5 years ago

    A friend of mine told me this one the other day...
    A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has
    come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When
    the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book,
    book, book, BOOK!"
    The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the
    chicken. The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.
    The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts
    the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks, "Book,
    book, book, BOOK!"
    The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these
    books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken. The chicken
    disappears.
    The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who
    squawks (in a rather irritated fashion, it seems), "Book, book, book, BOOK!"
    By more...

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