"Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them do..." joke

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn’t Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus’ birthday.

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A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I more...

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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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Uknown:Your hair line so deep we can see what your thinking
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evan horvath:boi your hairline goes farther back than jesus
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chris:i tied her boobs up
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Kari Hudson02:yo hairline was so messed up when you got a new haircut it was Christmas for 2 weeks
Funny Joke? 106 vote(s). 74% are positive. 4 comment(s).