Backpack Jokes

On a plane, a man and his wife are offered tea and both accept. The man tries to be sweet to his wife, saying "Pass the sugar, sugar... Pass the honey, honey." Then he says, "Pass the tea, you old bag."
On a plane, there were three... "On a plane, there were three passengers and the pilot. The passengers were George Bush, an old man, and his grandson. The grandson hung his backpack with the others on the rack. The plane ran out of fuel and there were only three parachutes. The pilot took a parachute and jumped out. Then George Bush jumped out with one. There was only one parachute left. The old man told his grandson to go on without him, but the kid said he had to. The old man said,"You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you." The boy replied,"But there are still two parachutes left. George Bush took my backpack."

Bob and Bill go duck hunting. They settle down in their pit blind and wait for the ducks. This gets rapidly boring for Bill, so he reaches into his backpack and withdraws a pint of 100 proof scotch.
"Want some?" he asks Bob.
"No, I've got to concentrate on hunting ducks."
"Okay..." he says and happily drains the bottle.
They go back to watching for ducks. Again, Bill gets bored and gets from his backpack another bottle of scotch.
"Want some." he asks again.
"No, thanks, I really don't drink," is his reply.
"Your loss." he says and happily drains the bottle. He's pretty sloshed by now, but goes back to help his friend watch for ducks.
A minute later, a single duck flies up. "Bang!!!" goes Bob's gun.
"Darn, missed," says Bob.
Bill waves his gun in the general direction of the sky. "Bang!!!" his gun goes. He drops the duck out of the sky.
"Wow," more...

New from MATTEL: Administrative Barbie: Works twelve hour days for little pay (70% of Admin Ken's salary), and is the lowest on the totem pole despite being the one that actually runs the group. Comes with mini laptop and directions for the coffee machine. Pull the string on her back and she'll schedule a meeting with your other dolls, replace the toner cartridge in the laser printer, coordinate a re-org and a move, and order airline tickets for Admin Ken.

Temp Barbie: This smartly dressed, intelligent, hard-working and enthusiastic Barbie is ready to go right out of the box, but usually goes untouched for at least a day while everyone tries to figure out why they bought her. Pull the string on her back and she'll stuff envelopes indefinitely, all the while wondering why she got a liberal arts degree. Comes with mini resume and mini filing cabinet filled with the past five years worth of US Tax Code revisions which need to be collated.

Sister Mary Barbie: This more...