Parody Jokes

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    New virus - WORK

    Hot 7 years ago

    There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand.This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.

    This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE). Alternate products include Bridge-Environoment-Eradication-Resolution (BEER) and Benign-Orderly-Overload-System-Enhancer (BOOSE). Administer the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

    You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

    Update: After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted more...

    A Bah Humbug

    Hot 3 years ago

    Sung to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town

    You better watch out,
    You better not cry,
    You better not pout,
    I'm telling you why,
    Santa Claus is tapping,
    Your phone.

    He's buggin your room,
    He's reading your mail,
    He's keeping a file
    And runnin a tail
    Santa Claus is tapping
    Your phone

    He hears you in the bedroom
    Surveils you out of doors
    And if that doesn't get the goods
    Then he'll use provocateurs.

    So you mustn't assume
    That you are secure
    On Christmas Eve
    He'll kick in your door
    Santa Claus is tapping
    Your phone...

    If Poe were a Techie

    Hot 5 years ago


    Once upon a midnight dreary,
    fingers cramped and vision bleary,
    system manuals piled high
    and wasted paper on the floor,
    longing for the warmth of bed sheets,
    still I sat there, doing spreadsheets.

    Having reached the bottom line,
    I took a floppy from the drawer.
    Typing with a steady hand,
    I then invoked the "save" command
    and waited for the disk to store,
    only this and nothing more.

    Deep into the monitor peering,
    long I sat there wond'ring, fearing
    while the disk kept churning,
    turning yet to churn some more.
    "Save!" I said, "You cursed mother!
    Save my data from before!"

    One thing did the phosphors answer
    only this and nothing more, just,
    "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

    With my fingers pale and trembling,
    slowly toward the keyboard bending,
    longing for a happy ending,
    hoping all more...

    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Brooklyn version of
    Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside New York. If you
    have one of the Brooklyn editions you may need some help understanding
    the commands.

    - The Brooklyn edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
    - It reads WINDAS 98 with a background picture of the East River with a
    floating body. It is shipped with a' NYPD BLUE' screensaver.
    - Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled' Garbitch'
    - My Computer is called' My Freakin Computer,'
    - Dialup Networking is called' Good Fellas',
    - Control Panel is known as the' da Tote Board,'
    - Hard Drive is referred to as' da trunk', and....
    - Floppies are them' little Freakin plastic disc tings'.


    * Instead of an error message you get a winda covered with steel bars and Grafitti.
    * OK= do it I tell ya
    * Cancel = hell no
    * Reset = dis is more...

    President Clinton's Testimony
    by Dr. Seuss

    I did not do it in a car
    I did not do it in a bar

    I did not do it in the dark
    I did not do it in the park

    I did not do it on a date
    I did not ever fornicate

    I did not do it at a dance
    I did not do it in her pants

    I did not get beyond first base
    I did not do it in her face

    I never did it in a bed
    If you think that, you've been misled

    I did not do it with a groan
    I did not do it on the phone

    I did not cause her dress to stain
    I never boinked Saddam Hussein

    I did not do it with a whip
    I never fondled Linda Tripp

    I never acted really silly
    With volunteers like Kathleen Willey

    There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher
    I chased her' round, but could not catch her
    No kinky stuff, not on your life
    I wouldn't, even with my wife

    And Gennifer Flowers' more...

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