Idol Jokes / Recent Jokes

Thousands of young hopefuls lined up at Continental Arena yesterday with dreams of becoming the next'American Idol'. Many were reduced to tears when they learned that Simon thinks they suck ass. This season, American Idol is offering wannabes a second chance, it's called talent.
The young lady, pictured above, try to get the attention of producers by writing American Idol on her breasts. Sadly, that effort was wasted on Ryan Seacrest.

Let's just say that in the movie version of your life, you'd be played by Pauly Shore.
Your idea of "conquering Deep Blue" involves employing your gastro-intestinal system to attack the Tidy Bowl man.
The computer: A highly sophisticated electronic brain from IBM. You: A highly intoxicated electrician from NJ.
Before moving your queen, you insist on consulting Eddie Murphy.
Computer: lauded by scientists for its ability to calculate millions of chess moves per minute. You: lauded by fraternity buddies for your ability to pass gas and burp simultaneously.
You can't make a single move without thinking of huge juicy shrimp.
In your circle, "castling" means holing-up in your trailer with an AK-47 and a bottle of bourbon.
Your "garlic breath" strategy fails to intimidate this particular opponent.
Your populist leanings always result in you inciting your pawns to wipe out their own king and queen.
Kasparov's idol: Bobby more...

How about American Idol. Why, oh why, do they let the best singers go on. They are the most boring. If they did the WORST singer in America, ratings would skyrocket! I always turn it off after the prelims.

Never buy a toothbrush at a yard sale.
Never buy a parachute that was used once and never opened before.
Never sell computers for free at your garage sale. Trust me, there are many more ways to demolish your house.
Never put bathroom humor up on the internet.
Never watch American Idol auditions with Coke in your mouth.
Never watch American Idol auditions without a couple of aspirins.
And never, ever catch your grandparents taking a shower.
All of these words of advice were found out by first-hand experience.If you want to meet the guy brave enough to try all of these "stunts" out, go to the Almont Graveyard in Stamfort, Michigan and visit the grave entitled:"Dave 'Daredevil' Deatson". Or visit his grandparents in jail on Alcatraz Prison, California.