Deep Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Rolling in the deep

    Hot 2 years agoby ellie

    - rolling in the deep ooohhhh
    - nan please take the wheel chair out the bath

    The Suicidal Goat

    Hot 7 years ago

    A guy who was tired with life in the big city decided to take a vacation and go to the mountain, so he rented a chalet in the wilderness.
    One day, as he was strolling, he got to the edge of a precipice. He carefully looked down and backed quickly, amazed: "gee, is this deep!". He took a pebble and threw it in, to see how long it takes until it gets down. It took a while, so he thought "that's really deep"; then he found a big stone and tossed it, and when it hit the ground with an almost inaudible sound he reckoned "this is what I call deep". Having nothing else to do, he started to look around a found a large piece of rail. He strained a while, as it was pretty heavy, rusted and muddy, but he managed to push it over the cliff, and after some time, when he heard it hitting the ground with abig blast, he reasoned: "now that's something!".
    He had just seated himself to rest and start meditating at the abyssal dimensions, when he saw a more...

    Chinese Goer

    Hot 7 years ago

    A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the
    evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at
    it.
    When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window,
    takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side,
    jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the
    performance.
    The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When
    finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a
    deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps
    back into bed with the hooker and starts again.
    The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During
    the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.
    So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a
    deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed...and finds four
    Chinese men.

    Baby Photographer

    Hot 4 weeks ago

    After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.' Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. You don't know me, but I've come to...' 'Oh yes, I know why you're here. Harry told me you'd be coming soon.' 'He did? But I...' 'Come right in! No use wasting time .' 'Very well, then.' The photographer took out his briefcase and sat down. 'As you may already know, I've made a specialty of babies.' 'Good, I'm glad,' said Mrs. Jacobs. 'That's just what Harry and I were looking for.' 'I usually like to try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed,' said the photographer. 'The living room floor is fun too...you can really spread out.' 'Bathtub? Living room more...

    Halloween...?!?!

    Hot 4 years ago

    There was once an old woman living in a cottage. Her husband had died three years ago. Suddenly, the phone rang. She picked it up and a deep voice boomed: "I am the vindow viper and I'm coming into your town." She put the phone down, thinking it was some boys playing a prank on her.
    About half an hour later the phone rang again. She picked it up and the deep voice bellowed: "I am the vindow viper and I'm coming down your road." Again, the woman put the phone down, thinking that the boys were very determined.
    Around a minute later, the phone rang again. She sighed and picked up the phone. Again, the deeep voice boomed: "I am the vindow viper and I'm just outside your door!" She put the phone down and the doorbell rang. She opened the door and there was an old man standing there. She said: "Who are you?"
    He said: "I am the vindow viper and I've come to vipe your vindows!"

  • Recent Activity