Breath Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Chinese Goer

    Hot 2 years ago

    A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the
    evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at
    it.
    When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window,
    takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side,
    jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the
    performance.
    The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When
    finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a
    deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps
    back into bed with the hooker and starts again.
    The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During
    the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.
    So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a
    deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed...and finds four
    Chinese men.

    A handsome young man and a beautiful girl met and it was love at first sight. They immediately got married and went on their honeymoon. On their wedding night, the bride went into the bathroom to freshen up.
    Unfortunately, she had a case of bad breath so severe she had to take a powerful drug to control it. She was about to take the drug when she decided it would be best to let her husband in on her secret since they would be spending the rest of their lives together.
    So she returned to bed without taking the drug.
    Her husband then went into the bathroom to freshen up. He also had a problem with foot odor so offensive it required a special preparation to keep it under control. He was about to apply the preparation when he decided it would be better to let his wife know about his problem because she would find out about it sooner or later anyway.
    He skipped applying the preparation, returned to bed, grabbed his wife and gave her a big kiss.
    She said, "Honey, more...

    A Problem of Problems

    Hot 10 months ago

    A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage." His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?" "Oh yes, very much," he said, "but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them." "No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution. The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom. "Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful." "Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning." more...

    This young swimmer from the Australian Olympic team manages to sneak his new girlfriend, a gorgeous Danish gymnast, into his room at the Olympic Village.

    Once she's inside, he quickly switches out all the lights and they rapidly disrobe and leap onto his bed in a flurry of athletic achievement.

    After about twenty minutes of wild sex they both collapse back on the bed in exhaustion. The girl looks admiringly across at the swimmer in the dim light. His beautifully-developed muscles, tanned skin and smooth-shaven scalp glisten with little beads of sweat as he lays beside her. She's really pleased to have met this guy.

    At this point the swimmer slowly struggles up from the bed. He fumbles the lid off a bottle on the bedside table, pours himself a small shot in a glass and drinks it down in one gulp. Then he stands bolt upright, takes a deep breath and, in a surprisingly energetic motion, dives under the bed, climbing out the other side and beating his more...

    A boy walked up to a man and asked, "Hey mister, wanna donate to the WE NEED HELP children's fund?" the man said, "No, but I will donate a pack of listerine bottles because I hope all of the kids' breath don't smell as bad as yours!"
    (real life situation)

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