Competition Jokes

My village is holding their annual incest competition.
I've entered my Sister

There is a competition going on to see, who can milk a cow, the best. The competitors are given a bucket each and sent to separate rooms, where they could milk their respective cows. One who has the largest volume of milk in the bucket is obviously, the winner.A surd is among the competitors, and is the favorite for the win.
After the stipulated time, each participant returns with his bucket, some have milked 2 litres, some have 3, some 4 and so on. Finally, our Surd returns, fuming and exhausted, and guess what, his bucket contains just

Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a season when neither the Browns nor the Steelers made the post season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great rivalry. So, they decided on a week long ice fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.
So on a cold freezing day on Lake Erie they began their contest.
The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers had 100. At the end of the 2nd day the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers 200.
That evening the Browns coach got his team together and said, "I suspect some kind of cheating is taking place." So the next morning, he dressed one of his players in black and yellow and sent him over to the Steelers camp to act as a spy. At the end of the day he came back to report to the coach. The coach more...

A radio station is holding a competition for a trip to hawai. Somebody rings up, tells them a word that isn't in the dictionary and then puts it in a sentence. This is how it went
First caller: Hi my name Adam and my word is G-o-a-n pronounced "
Go an"
.
Presenter: Okay thats not in the dictionary now whats your sentence.
Adam:Okay, Goan Fuck yourself
he was cut off
There no others winners until
Brain: Hi my names Brian and my word is
S-m-e-e pronounced "
Sme"
.
Presenter: Ok whats your sentence
Brain: Well its,
Smee again Goan Fuck yourself
The competition ended there

I was in a good mood last week. I entered a competition and won a years supply of marmite... one jar!