Gerald Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." -President Gerald Ford
"My fellow astronauts..."
-Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration.
"Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."
-Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah, explaining his support of the death penalty.
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
-Charles de Gaulle, ex-French President
"I stand by all the misstatements."
-Dan Quayle, defending himself against criticism for making verbal gaffes
"Gerald Ford was a Communist"
-Ronald Reagan in a speech. He later indicated he meant to say 'Congressman'.
"Outside of the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington D.C.
"We found the term 'killing' too broad."
-State Department more...

Gerald: "Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?" Mabel: "Yes, the dentist."

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been. -President Gerald Ford "My fellow astronauts..."-Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration. "Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."-Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah, explaining his support of the death penalty. "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."-Charles de Gaulle, ex-French President "I stand by all the misstatements."-Dan Quayle, defending himself against criticism for making verbal gaffes "Gerald Ford was a Communist"-Ronald Reagan in a speech. He later indicated he meant to say 'Congressman'. "Outside of the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington D.C. "We found the term 'killing' too broad."-State Department spokesperson on why the word 'killing' was replaced with 'unlawful or arbitrary more...

Gerald: "Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?"Mabel: "Yes, the dentist."

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Gerald.
Gerald who?
Gerald washed up! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Gerald!
Gerald who!
Gerald friend again!