A man & wife entered a dentist's office. The Wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
You're a brave woman said the dentist. Now, Show me which tooth it is.
The wife turns to her husband and says "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
These three friends, a Dentist, a Carpenter, and an Electrician were sitting around trying to decide what prank to pull on a mutual friend. Their friend was getting married soon, and his good buddies just felt compelled to play some prank, as all good buddies would.
After sitting around brainstorming for a while, the Electrician had a thought, "I know! I know! I can wire the bed so that when our friend and his new bride sit on it and touch one another, they'll get a good shock."
The Carpenter perked up and added, "and I can rig the bed so that when they get shocked and jump apart, the bed will collapse."
The Dentist just sat in silence, because he couldn't think of a thing to do.
After the fortunate couple's wedding and honeymoon, the groom called his friends together for a chat. He said to them, "Well, when we sat on the bed and got a shock, it wasn't that bad. And then when we jumped apart and the bed fell in, we had a good laugh. But who's more...
This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth."
The woman then says: "Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful I'd rather have a baby!"
To which the dentist replies, "Make up your mind lady, I'll have to adjust the chair!"
A man went to his dentist because he has a strange feeling in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything - meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything."
"Well," says the dentist, "That's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It has eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."
"Why chrome?" asks the patient.
To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves.
"Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"
She said, "No, I don't have any idea."
"Well," he spoofed,
"Down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in and then walks around for a bit while the latex sets and dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods' crate and start the process all over again."
She didn't laugh one bit.
Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing.
The old woman blushed and exclaimed,
"I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms!"