This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck," he says, "I really want a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?"
The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."
The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called 'Nike,' for the slogan, 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his 'Snickers,' because 'It really Satisfies."
The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. The customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?"
The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."
The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "Cause more...
Several years ago, after having Japanese executives from the automotive industry tour a Ford Plant, they held a press conference in which one of the Japanese execs claimed that the American workers were slow and lazy.
Not long after, a friend sent me a picture of a bumper sticker on a truck at the Ford plant.
It read - "We may be slow and lazy, but we build a damn good bomb!"
What do these automobile acronyms actually mean?
AUDI: A Used Dodge Incognito
BMW: Bavarian Money Waster
BUICK: Big Ugly Idiot`s Cat Killer
CHEVROLET: Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVY: Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet
CHRYSLER: Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions
DAEWOO: Damn Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally
DODGE: Dear Old Dad`s Garbage Engine
FIAT: Fix It Again, Tony
FORD: Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
GM: Genital Motors
HONDA: Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad`s Assistance
HYUNDAI: Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
JEEP: Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
KIA: Korean Industrial Accident
MITSUBISHI: Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete
MOPAR: Move Over People Are Racing
NISSAN: Need I Say Something About Nothing
OLDSMOBILE: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s more...
How do you double the value of a Ford Pinto?
Fill the gas tank!
International Marketing - Actual Accounts Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example... The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth." In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat more...