Quayle Jokes

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    Stupid funny quotes

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    "Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." -President Gerald Ford
    "My fellow astronauts..."
    -Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration.
    "Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."
    -Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah, explaining his support of the death penalty.
    "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
    -Charles de Gaulle, ex-French President
    "I stand by all the misstatements."
    -Dan Quayle, defending himself against criticism for making verbal gaffes
    "Gerald Ford was a Communist"
    -Ronald Reagan in a speech. He later indicated he meant to say 'Congressman'.
    "Outside of the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
    -Mayor Marion Barry, Washington D.C.
    "We found the term 'killing' too broad."
    -State Department more...

    Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away.
    When they come down and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the land of Oz. They decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
    Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?"

    Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car
    together in the midwest. A tornado comes along and
    whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away.
    When they come down and extract themselves from the vehicle, they
    realize they're in the land of Oz. They decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz.
    Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
    Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."
    Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?"

    A spelling bee was held in Washington D.C. among all interested politicians. The contest was competitive, until finally there were three contestants remaining. Those still in competition were President Clinton, former United States Senator Bob Packwood, and former Vice-President Dan Quayle. After a series of correct responses by each, Quayle was finally able to prevail over his opposition. He was the only one that knew that 'harass' was only one word.

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