Definition Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What's the definition of chutzpah? A: A boy who kills his parents and then begs the court for mercy - because he's an orphan.

Q. What is the definition of a woman?
A. A life support system for a pussy.

Q. What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A. A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

*Incontinence Hotline...Can you hold, please?
*Lysdexia: a peech imspediment we live to learn with...
*If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help.
*43.3% of statistics are meaningless!
*Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
*A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.
*It said 'Insert disk #3', but only two will fit.
*Which is the non-smoking lifeboat?
* |||||||//////__ __ __ __ __ The domino effect at work.
*Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
*Just fill out one simple form to win a Tax Audit!
*Grow your own Dope - Plant a Politician.
*Democracy: Four wolves and a lamb voting on lunch.
*The buck doesn't even slow down here!
*Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
*If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.
*Oh, no! Not ANOTHER learning experience!
*The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
*Advice is free: The right answer will cost more...

Q: Why did God create WASPs?
A: Someone has to buy retail!
Q: What do WASPs think Zimbabwe Rhodesia is?
A: A wide receiver for the Houston Oilers.
Q: How can you tell if a WASP is sexually excited?
A: The stiff upper lip.
Q: What's an American WASP's idea of open-mindedness?
A: Dating a Canadian.
Q: What does a little WASP girl want to be when she grows up?
A: "The very best person I possibly can."
Q: What's a WASP's idea of social security?
A: An ancestor on the Mayflower.
Q: Why did the WASP cross the street?
A: To get to the middle of the road.
Q: What happens when four WASPs find themselves in the same room?
A: A dinner party.
Q: What do WASPs think of the Mideast situation?
A: Well, Newport is all right, but EVERYbody goes to the Cape.
Q: How does a WASP propose marriage?
A: "How would you like to be buried with my people?"
Q: What's a WASP's idea of affirmative action?
A: more...

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
4. 2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of
2.
5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
8. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
9. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
10. -{-- The information went data way --[
11. Best file compression around: "DEL ." = 100% compression
12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
14. The name is Baud..., James Baud.
15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
16. Access denied-nah nah na nah nah!
17. C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
19. more...

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.4. 2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of2.5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.8. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL9. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN10. -{-- The information went data way --[11. Best file compression around: "DEL ." = 100% compression12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding14. The name is Baud..., James Baud.15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! 16. Access denied-nah nah na nah nah! 17. C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..19. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"20. As a computer, I find more...