Dallas Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here is some funny, and supposedly true stories from travel agents.

I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, the customer became very irate and insisted "I know it is real, I see people check in every week!"

Also, I really did have someone ask for an aisle seat on an airplane so their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is more...

Q: What do they call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.
Q: There are 4 Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police.
Q: Why can't Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy huddle anymore?
A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.
The team doctor said because of Michael Irvin's fractured wrist, it'll be 6 - 8 weeks before he can video tape a team mate having sex.
The Chicago Bears are trying to trade for Michael Irvin. They got rid of the "Refrigerator" and now they want a "Coke Machine".
It was reported today that the artificial turf in Texas Stadium is being replaced because the Cowboys play much better on "grass".
The Dallas Cowboys have adopted a new "Honor System". "Yes, your Honor", "No, your Honor".
The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year. 12 arrests and 5 convictions.
In a move to strengthen their defense, the Dallas Cowboys today hired more...

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response. .. click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from more...

A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style". The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo, with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Al Gore, & I'm here to confiscate your guns". The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.

The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas Stadium is going to take out the artificial turf because the cowboys play better on "grass." The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new "Honor System", Yes your Honor, No your Honor. The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year, 12 arrests, 5 convictions. The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: Johnny CochranQ: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.

Four college friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas and party with some friends up there. They had a great time. However, after all the partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Austin until early Monday morning.Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it.They explained that they had gone to Dallas for the weekend with the plan to come back and study but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved.They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.They looked at the first more...

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do its own, titled Survivor, Texas-Style.

The contestants will start in Dallas, travel to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, onto El Paso, then to Midland, Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they'll proceed to Abilene, Ft. Worth and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I'm a vegetarian, I voted for Al Gore, and I'm
here to confiscate your guns!"

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins!