Cohen Jokes / Recent Jokes

Henry`s big problem
Henry goes to the doctor`s surgery to collect his wife Sarah’s test results.
The receptionist tells him, "I`m sorry, but there has been a bit of a mix-up. When we sent your wife`s samples to the lab, they got mixed up with samples from another Mrs Cohen and we don`t know which one is your wife`s. The bottom line is that the situation is either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" says Henry.
"Well," says the receptionist, "one Mrs Cohen has tested positive for Alzheimer disease and the other for AIDS. We can`t tell which is which."
"That`s terrible," says Henry, "can you do the test again?"
"Normally, yes. But your private medical insurance policy won`t pay for these expensive tests more than once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do?" says Henry.
The receptionist replies, "The doctor recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of more...

METAPHYSICAL MENU... The main course at the big civic dinner was baked ham with glazed sweet potatoes.

Rabbi Cohen regretfully shook his head when the platter was passed to him.' When,' scolded Father Kelly playfully,' are you going to forget that silly rule of yours and eat ham like the rest of us?' Without skipping a beat, Rabbi Cohen replied:' At your wedding reception, Father Kelly.'

Motherly love
Freda Cohen is having a very torrid time with her teenage son. They are always screaming at each other and sometimes even fighting. So Freda takes him to see a psychoanalyst.
After several sessions, the doctor calls Freda into his office and tells her, "Your son has an Oedipus complex."
"Oedipus Shmedipus," answers Freda, "As long as he loves his mother."

It was a sweltering August day when all three Cohen brothers entered the posh Dearborn, Michigan, offices of Henry Ford, the car maker,
"Mr. Ford," announced Norman Cohen, the eldest of the three. "We have a remarkable invention that will revolutionize the automobile industry."
Ford looked skeptical, but their threat to offer it to the competition kept his interest piqued. "We would like to demonstrate it to you in person."
After a little cajoling, they brought Mr. Ford outside and asked him to enter a black automobile parked in front of the building. Hyman Cohen, the middle brother, opened the door of the car.
"Please step inside, Mr. Ford."
"What!!!" shouted the tycoon, "Are you crazy? It must be two hundred degrees in that car !!"
"It is," smiled the youngest brother, Max, "but sit down, Mr. Ford, and push the white button." Intrigued, Ford pushed the button.
All of a sudden more...

77 year old Morris went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Cohen said, "Morris everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with yourself, and have a good relationship with God?"
Morris replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, *poof*... the light goes on when I go to the bathroom and then *poof* the light goes off!"
"Wow," commented Dr. Cohen, "That's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. Cohen called Morris's wife. "Becky," he said, "Morris is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof* the light goes on in the bathroom and then *poof* the light goes off?"
Becky replied, "The darn fool!... He's peeing in the fridge again!"