Henry`s big problem
Henry goes to the doctor`s surgery to collect his wife Sarah’s test results.
The receptionist tells him, "I`m sorry, but there has been a bit of a mix-up. When we sent your wife`s samples to the lab, they got mixed up with samples from another Mrs Cohen and we don`t know which one is your wife`s. The bottom line is that the situation is either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" says Henry.
"Well," says the receptionist, "one Mrs Cohen has tested positive for Alzheimer disease and the other for AIDS. We can`t tell which is which."
"That`s terrible," says Henry, "can you do the test again?"
"Normally, yes. But your private medical insurance policy won`t pay for these expensive tests more than once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do?" says Henry.
The receptionist replies, "The doctor recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of more...
Henry is at his bowling banquet and keeps complaining that his dentures are hurting him. The fellow sitting next to him reaches in his pocket and pulls out a set. Handing them to Henry, he says, "Here, give these a try."
"Thank you, but they're a bit tight," Henry replies, after trying them.
The fellow pulls out another set and hands them to Henry. They fit perfectly, so Henry wears them for the evening.
After the banquet, Henry returns them to the fellow and says, "Thanks for the help. They fit me perfectly. Are you a dentist?"
"No," the fellow replies, "an undertaker!"
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the
pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr.
Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry comes up from behind, "You wanted to end the Americans'
liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
James Madison comes up next, and says, "This is why I allowed the
Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a
large weight on Osama's knee.
Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke,
James Monroe and 65 other 18th century American revolutionaries. As he
writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back
toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he
screams, "This is not what I was promised!"
An angel more...
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this more...
A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck.
"Where's Henry? one of his campmates asked."
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!"
"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"