Henry Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Henry`s big problem
    Henry goes to the doctor`s surgery to collect his wife Sarah’s test results.
    The receptionist tells him, "I`m sorry, but there has been a bit of a mix-up. When we sent your wife`s samples to the lab, they got mixed up with samples from another Mrs Cohen and we don`t know which one is your wife`s. The bottom line is that the situation is either bad or terrible."
    "What do you mean?" says Henry.
    "Well," says the receptionist, "one Mrs Cohen has tested positive for Alzheimer disease and the other for AIDS. We can`t tell which is which."
    "That`s terrible," says Henry, "can you do the test again?"
    "Normally, yes. But your private medical insurance policy won`t pay for these expensive tests more than once."
    "Well, what am I supposed to do?" says Henry.
    The receptionist replies, "The doctor recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of more...

    Perfect Fit

    Hot 8 years ago

    Henry is at his bowling banquet and keeps complaining that his dentures are hurting him. The fellow sitting next to him reaches in his pocket and pulls out a set. Handing them to Henry, he says, "Here, give these a try."
    "Thank you, but they're a bit tight," Henry replies, after trying them.
    The fellow pulls out another set and hands them to Henry. They fit perfectly, so Henry wears them for the evening.
    After the banquet, Henry returns them to the fellow and says, "Thanks for the help. They fit me perfectly. Are you a dentist?"
    "No," the fellow replies, "an undertaker!"

    It was a sweltering August day when all three Cohen brothers entered the posh Dearborn, Michigan, offices of Henry Ford, the car maker,
    "Mr. Ford," announced Norman Cohen, the eldest of the three. "We have a remarkable invention that will revolutionize the automobile industry."
    Ford looked skeptical, but their threat to offer it to the competition kept his interest piqued. "We would like to demonstrate it to you in person."
    After a little cajoling, they brought Mr. Ford outside and asked him to enter a black automobile parked in front of the building. Hyman Cohen, the middle brother, opened the door of the car.
    "Please step inside, Mr. Ford."
    "What!!!" shouted the tycoon, "Are you crazy? It must be two hundred degrees in that car !!"
    "It is," smiled the youngest brother, Max, "but sit down, Mr. Ford, and push the white button." Intrigued, Ford pushed the button.
    All of a sudden more...

    After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the
    pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.
    "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr.
    Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
    Patrick Henry comes up from behind, "You wanted to end the Americans'
    liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
    James Madison comes up next, and says, "This is why I allowed the
    Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a
    large weight on Osama's knee.
    Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke,
    James Monroe and 65 other 18th century American revolutionaries. As he
    writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back
    toward the gate where he is to be judged.
    As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he
    screams, "This is not what I was promised!"
    An angel more...

    A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this more...

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