Market Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Ricky the Rooster

    Hot 2 years ago

    A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster-one that service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied:' I have just the rooster for you. Ricky here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!'

    So the farmer took Ricky back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Ricky a little pep talk.' Ricky,' he said,' I'm counting on you to do your stuff.' And without a word he strutted into the hen house.

    Ricky was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Ricky had finished having his way with each hen. But Ricky didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried more...

    The Cannibal

    Hot 7 years ago

    A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brain. Upon further inspection, he noticed a marked disparity between the costs of brain meats. A carpenter's brain sells for $1.50 per pound. A plumber's brain sells for $2.25 per pound. He noticed with alarm that a politician's brain sells for $375.00 a pound. With not a little curiosity he asked the owner why the huge difference in price between the similar meats.
    The owner responded with a deadpan look on his face, "Do you realize how many politicians it takes to get a pound of brains?"

    Are you a surgeon?

    Hot 5 years ago

    A man walks into the market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is spinning a 25-cent piece in the air and catching it between his teeth. As they walk through the market someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his throat. He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face and Dad starts panicking, shouting and screaming for help.
    A middle-aged, fairly unremarkable man in a gray suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion he looks up, puts his coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds his newspaper and places it on the counter. He gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way across the market. Reaching the boy (who is still standing, but just barely) the man carefully takes hold of the kid's testicles and squeezes gently but firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the 25-cent piece, more...

    Slave Market

    Hot 5 years ago

    In a slave market, an owner is showing his slaves for selling.
    A man come to the shop and pointing to an American slave and asked, "how much he is?". The owner said, "$100". And the man pioint to a Russian slave, asked again, and the owner reply, "$1000". The man point to Japanese slave, and the owner reply, "$10000".
    Finally the man point to a African slave and ask the price, the owner reply, "$100000".
    The customer is confused and ask, "Why that black slave cost too much?".
    The owner reply, "His brain is still new, he never used his brain".
    I don't mean to make someone feel bad.
    Coz i am a afro-american :)

    This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an
    employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does
    not (have a sense of humor) and made the web department take it down
    immediately.
    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
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