Pocket Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Frog in My Throat!

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hamster. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The hamster stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
    After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the hamster's music.
    While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "He's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he more...

    The frog & the man

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,' If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.' He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

    The frog spoke up again and said,' If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero' The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

    The frog spoke up again and said,' If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.' The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

    The frog then cried out,' If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.' Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

    Finally, the frog asked,' What is the matter? I've told you I'm a more...

    Two Wishes

    Hot 3 years ago

    A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.
    The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"
    "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
    The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3. 40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.
    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer,"
    The ostrich says "I'll have the same."
    Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
    This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender.
    "Well, it's close to last orders, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man.
    "Same for me" says the ostrich.
    "That will be $7. 20" says the bartender.
    Once again the man pulls more...

    A little corporate humor

    Hot 5 years ago

    A little corporate humor
    I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets.When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?""Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some AndersenConsulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and aftermonths of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons dropspoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil; at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time...nearly 1.5 extra man-hours per shift. Just more...

    Desert Island

    Hot 4 years ago

    One day this guy, who has been stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
    "It's certainly not a ship,"he thinks to himself.
    As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
    Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes this drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
    She approaches the stunned guy and asks, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
    "Ten years!" he says.
    She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
    He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that ever good!"
    She then asks him, "How long has it been since you've had a sip of good bourbon?"
    Trembling, he replies, "Ten Years!"
    She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, more...

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