Kiss Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Slap Happy Marine

    Hot 2 years ago

    A young Marine and his commanding officer climbed on board a train headed through the mountains of Switzerland. The only place they could find to sit was right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

    After a while, it became obvious that the young woman and the young soldier were interested in each other, but the young woman kept glancing nervously at her grandmother.

    Soon the train passed into a pitch black tunnel. There was the sound of a passionate kiss followed by the sound of a stinging slap. When the train emerged from the tunnel, the four sat there without saying a word.

    The grandmother thought to herself: "It was very brash for that young soldier to kiss my granddaughter, and I'm glad she slapped him."

    The commanding officer sat there thinking: "I figured he'd try to steal a kiss, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!"

    The young woman was sitting and more...

    The snoring roommate

    Hot 2 years agoby
    axel92

    4 college students moved an apartment with 2 bedrooms. Their names were Kevin, Paul, Jordan, and Kyle. The first 3 quickly found out Kyle had a terrible snoring problem. Nobody wanted to room with him. They agreed to take turns. The first night was Kevin's turn. The next morning, Kevin walks out into the living room, with glazed eyes and a zombie like shuffle. Paul and Jordan ask "what happened?" Kevin says "Well he was snoring so loud that I couldn't fall asleep at all, so I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night, Paul rooms with Kyle. The next morning, his eyes are bloodshot and his hair is a wild mess. He says "Kyle was snoring so loud last night, that instead of sleeping I sat up and stared at him all night." Night 3 is Jordan's turn. Jordan is an ex-football player weighing about 250 pounds. The next morning, he walks into the living room with bright eyes and a spring in his step. Paul and Kevin, obviously surprised, ask him how the more...

    The chinese detective

    Hot 2 years ago

    A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:
    Most honorable sir:
    You leave house.
    He come house.
    I watch.
    He and she leave house.
    I follow.
    He and she get on train.
    I follow.
    He and she go in hotel.
    I climb tree-look in window.
    He kiss she.
    She kiss he.
    He strip she.
    She strip he.
    He play with she.
    She play with he.
    I play with me.
    fall out of tree, not see.
    NO FEE

    Bush, Manmohan(indian prime minister), Aishwarya rai and Sonia(sonia gandhi head of opposition in indian goverment) are traveling in a train.

    The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

    Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.

    Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

    Sonia is thinking: These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

    Aishwarya is thinking: Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

    Bush is thinking: Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

    Manmohan is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel I will make more...

    Chinese Detective

    Hot 2 years ago

    A man suspected his wife of seeing another man so he hired a famous Chinese detective to watch and report activities while he was gone.
    A few days later he received this report:
    Most Hon'ble Sir,
    You leave the house.
    I watch house.
    He come to house.
    I watch.
    He and she leave house.
    I follow.
    He and she get on train.
    I follow.
    He and she go in hotel.
    I climb tree - look in window.
    He kiss she.
    She kiss he.
    He strip she.
    She strip he.
    He play with she.
    She play with he.
    I play with me.
    Fall out of tree.
    Not see.
    No fee.

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